Japanese House Ball Tournament

First and foremost, my wife and I are very average bowlers. Her average is a respectable 120 and I am lucky to bowl around 160. Very common scores for any avid bowler back in the US. However, as is true with most things is China, being average is pretty exceptional.

About three weeks ago a friend of ours asked us if we were interested in playing in a bowling tournament. He said that a Japanese team called Medaka from the Shanghai Softball league was putting together a team for a Japanese bowling tournament. With nothing better to do on Saturday August 28^th, we agreed. Not until we agreed did we get informed of why we were invited. Apparently we were the “ringers” they were bringing in to win. Here is a brief overview of the rules of this tournament.

1. Using your own ball results in a 40 pin penalty / game
2. All ladies on the team will receive a 20 pin bonus / game
3. Two singles games and two pairs games will be played. Highest total score wins.

I can only assume that we were invited to play with this Japanese team because we fit the stereotype of a “good bowler”. First, we are American. Second, we are from the Midwest. Third, we like to drink beer. Fourth, we fit the “profile” of a bowler. You have to love stereotypes.

Not knowing what to expect, we showed up at the Hongkou bowling center at 8:45 AM on Saturday morning. A bit hung over from a night out and with Katie fighting off a nagging cold, our expectations were not that high. When we arrived we were shocked to see 31 other teams of 6-8 people crowding the lobby area. Roughly 90% of these individuals were Japanese, 9% were Chinese, and exactly one other person (other than us) was white. Since only 16 teams could bowl at a time, we ended up not playing until 9:45 AM. This proved to be a huge blessing as three of us headed over to KFC for some breakfast. We also got to size up the competition as the first set of games ended. Seeing very few scores above 150, we figured our chances were better than originally thought. Quickly we were humbled. Our first game saw us play a team of matching shirts. Now textiles are not exactly the most expensive thing in Shanghai, but when you put together a team shirt for a $25 / person tournament, you are taking it pretty seriously.

A quick loss to this team reduced our hopes of having a successful day. That is until we realized that our chances of finishing in the money actually increased by losing our first game. The way the tournament was set up is that all the winners of the first round “advanced” to the winners bracket. All of the losers were “relegated” to the losers bracket. However, the only discernable difference was that the winners bracket was sending two teams to the finals and the losers bracket was only sending one. However, all the best teams won their first games, so we got matched up with a bunch of never-will-bes. If I could read Japanese or could have figured out how the bracket worked in advance, then I probably would have suggested throwing the first game anyways. Thus, our slow start was a blessing in disguise.

After our opening loss, we played two consecutive games against pretty terrible bowlers. The second game, however, came down to the final frame. With about a 40 pin lead heading into the final frame we thought we had the game well in hand. All of the sudden, a bunch of bowlers that were struggling to break 100 were throwing balls like they were Norm Duke. First bowler goes strike-spare. The second bowler goes strike-strike-8. Our two doubles teams fail to mark. All of the sudden our lead has evaporated.

For some strange reason Japanese teams put their best two bowlers in the first and second positions and their worst bowlers in the third and fourth position. With our two singles players still to bowl, we figured to still be in a good position. I was bowling 3^rd and rolled a 9-spare-9. The pairs team bowling against me consisted of a girl that struggled to hit any pins and a guy that wasn’t picking up the garbage she was leaving him. True to form the girl started the frame with a ball that took about 30 seconds to get down the lane and flirted with both gutters before clipping the ten pin. The second bowler missed the headpin, but somehow picked up the spare as pins were falling in every direction and one miraculously clipped the two pin, which brushed the headpin just hard enough to have it wobble and fall. Spare! Luckily the girl was up again and managed a 3, which was about 2.5 points above her average / ball for the first 9 frames.

Since I was working off of a strike, we had regained a slight lead of 7 pins. With our anchor up (the 3^rd American on the team) and another of their girl/guy combos, we were feeling pretty good. We were up first and our anchor rolled a nice ball right into the pocket, but only managed an 8. A typical house ball result. With the 5-8 left, we figured to pick up the spare and be heading to the next round. A slight miss to the right on ball number two put is us deep water. Up 15 pins with the other team left to bowl. The girl, looking very nervous, kept the ball on the lane for about 10 feet before it tumbled into the gutter. This was a huge sigh of relief for our team. Up next was a guy that had failed to strike (or 0-spare) the entire game. We thought we would escape. Little did we know this guy was saving his best for last. The ball looked good out of his hand and rolled directly toward the pocket. A well deserved spare was the result. As the Japanese team celebrated, a quick calculation determined that the girl needed only 3 pins for the most unlikely comeback of the day. This fact was not lost on her either. Looking rather ill, the young lady took the ball from the rack, took a deep breath and began her approach. The ball left her hand in a similar manner as the first 9 frames: wobbly and unpredictable. It started relatively straight, but as the ball rolled forward it was clear it was heading right. The question was how far right? As the ball fell into the gutter about 5 feet in front of the pins we realized we had survived.

The next two rounds were pretty uneventful as we picked up our game considerably and cruised through the final two matches of the losers bracket. This put us up against the two undeniable favorites for the tournament. We were up against an all girls team getting 120 bonus pins and their husbands, a bunch of Chinese guys bowling in the 160s. The girl’s team had been put up the 4 highest scores in their route to the final. The guys were right on their heals, consistently putting up scores in the 600s. We were overmatched and it showed. The girls ended up beating both of us without needing the bonus 120 pins as they put up scores of 183, 178, 165, and 159. A third place finish, an 80 RMB / person prize, and 6 games of bowling was well worth the 150 RMB / person entry fee. We are definitely looking forward to the next Japanese House Ball Tournament.

Sign me up!

We are a little behind in posting but I thought I would post the most amusing ad I have seen yet. I recently subscribed to enjoymeitian.com which sends out daily deals at a reduced price for 24hours. I ordered another enjoy shanghai coupon book for the bargain price of $13 USD (normally $40). While the book is still MIA because my chinese is not good enough to understand the delivery men, I still check out the daily deals. This one is a winner.

The Deal
It is possible to relieve stress by popping handfuls of Tic Tacs, or purchasing a small animal to squeeze intermittently, but the most effective way to release tension is to beat the poo out of inanimate objects. Taekwondo is one of the world’s most popular martial arts because it allows much kicking, punching and doing of the splits. Improve your ability to break bricks using your hands with four classes at XuLin Taekwondo Club worth RMB200 but only costing RMB100 with today’s reduced price. Of course, it isn’t advisable for beginners to start off their martial arts career hitting bricks – unless they wish to find themselves stuck in hospital being fed by a stentorian nurse with hips that could straddle the Yangtze. At XuLin, safety is of the highest importance, which is why everyone learns the basics of safe practice before going all “Jackie Chan” on hostile park benches. Sample the delights of increased strength and flexibility over four classes to decide whether Taekwondo is the right kick-arse technique for you. A Korean martial art, Taekwondo translates (very loosely) as a method for breaking people or things using a flurry of fists and feet. Balance and agility are key aspects of perfecting this style of fighting, providing a rounded sporting activity to develop a variety of core fitness areas.

The Venue
Xulin Taekwondo Club is an independently run facility belonging to LanXiang Art Institute. Advanced equipment is matched by a team of outstanding coaches, who put safety and satisfaction as a priority. The HuangXing Road venue covers an area of 140 square meters, while the larger FengCheng Road venue covers 400 square meters.

Xulin Tae Kwon Do club

Address: 3/F, 2057 HuangXing Rd
Telephone: 8181-0275

Address: 101, FengCheng Rd
Telephone: 8181-0275

www.xulin-tkd.com

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Others are saying:

Taekwondo takes a lot of energy and is a very cool way to exercise the muscles. I started with basic training and the coach is very good and teaches the actions very professionally.
脑浆 - dianping

Enjoy Says

Once you have achieved a black belt in Taekwondo, you must face the difficult task of choosing between good and evil.

Good: Use it only as a way to bring light into the lives of others, rescuing cats from trees with new-found agility and restarting the hearts of elderly pensioners with your bare hands. Occasionally, you beat someone up just to see the smile on a child's face.

Evil: Wield it as a weapon of terror, stealing babies' lollipops and laughing manically while sucking on the sweet stolen treasure. Sometimes, you may even have to use it to break down concrete walls, helping a crazed evil genius to redecorate his newly bought mansion in Bel Air.

Float Trip or Bus Trip: You decide.

We recently had the opportunity to join in on a float trip in Chang Hua, China. We have had some good times floating down the Au Sable River in Michigan so we were definitely excited for the prospects of the weekend. Our journey began at Bubba's Texas BBQ, a place that always has the best barbeque in China. It was our understanding that our bus trip would begin at 9AM and take roughly 3 hours to get to the hotel. We would then check in and head to the river for an afternoon of rafting followed by barbeque dinner at a local park. Since this was the 3rd annual float trip, we figured we were in good hands. Only after we signed up we learned that they were testing out a new location since this group had already established a reputation at the last location. How bad could it be…

… well, lets just say that we started off on the wrong foot and never really got back on track. The day started with the bus leaving about 45 minutes behind schedule as people decided that the start time was a suggestion. When we got on the bus the entire bus started drinking beers like we would never have a chance to consume another beverage. This was mistake #1 as the bus had no bathrooms and fit about 50 people. Needless to say, stopping was a frequent occurrence on the bus ride out. The bus also lacked garbage cans, and although this was the 3^rd float trip, the organizers didn’t think that bringing garbage bags was important. Thus, after about an hour the aisle of the bus was littered with empty beer cans and cigarettes. As the quantity of beers accumulated on the floor so did the need for people to empty their bladders. The first stop occurred about an hour into the trip at a decent little rest stop off of the highway. Everyone used what I would describe as four star bathrooms (more on that in another post) and got back on the bus to continue the drinking. Little did we know this would be the first of many stops and the driver was instructed to stop pretty much every 45 minutes. If a rest stop was not available we simply just stopped on the freeway. Around four stops and 4.5 hours later we finally make it to our hotel. Thus, it was now about 2 pm and everyone was well lubricated and ready to check in.

The hotel looked somewhat promising at first . . . the lobby looked nice and we were told it was a three star hotel. In my estimation they received one star for having a door with a lock, a second store for having electricity and a third star for providing a free bowl of porridge for breakfast. The place was much more of a dive than anything I have ever stayed in. Two twin unmade beds, an old school tv and a bathtub that looked like it may fall apart at any moment were our digs for the next 24 hours. Not a big deal since we were only using it to sleep. After 30 minutes of putzing around, we final loaded up the bus again and headed out to the river. Twenty minutes later we were getting off the bus and loading up the rafts.

The first 100 meters of the float trip went great. We loaded up the coolers and tied about three rafts together and started floating. About 100 meters down we realized that this river had some small rapids along the route. The first of which had a rather large rock in the middle of it. Since our rafts were going to crash into it, I got out and steered us clear. Realizing that we were the first ones floating down the river, every other raft was likely to have to navigate this obstacle as well. Thus, I stayed on the rock and steered others clear the rock as well. That was mistake #1. The last raft came crashing into me throwing my sunglasses into the river. After a feeble attempt to retrieve them, I realized that I had missed the last raft and would have to swim down the river to try and catch up. Unfortunately the river was about 1.5 feet deep and my knees and ankles were getting torn up. As I reached the last set of four rafts, the floaters asked if I would help them tie-up. Since I was already in the water I didn’t mind. They threw me the rope and I begin stringing the rafts together. As I was just about to tie the final knot, the group hit another set of rapids. With no warning from the people on the rafts I ended up taking a rather large rock off the shins. At that point I lost the rope momentarily as I was trying to avoid further injury. At the tail end of the rapids I made a diving attempt for the rope to save the swim to catch up. Just barely making it I thought I was fortunate, until I realized that my left hand felt a bit different. During my attempt to hold onto the rope over the rapids I ended up losing my wedding ring. Thus, we are about 20 minutes into the float and I am bleeding from both knees, I have a large bruise on my shin and I am out a pair of sunglasses and a wedding ring.

One would think that I would have learnt my lesson and just crawled back in the boat and drowned my sorrows. I must not have that much common sense because as we approached the next set of rapids I saw a middle aged guy from our group with his Chinese girlfriend stuck on the side of the river with a boat full of water. This dude wasn’t exactly in peak physical condition and his girlfriend didn’t look to interested in getting wet, let alone helping empty the boat. So, stupidly, I dove back in and swam over to help them out. At this point the Chinese girl had managed to make it to the bank with most of their gear. The guy was holding on to a completely filled raft with one hand while holding onto some rocks with the other. After about three attempts of flipping the boat we finally made it. But when we did we also let go of it. The boat ended up floating down the river about 100 meters with no one in it and me swimming after it. Luckily it got caught on a tree and I was able to catch up to it. I didn’t lose anything during this adventure, other than the remainder of my buzz.

The floating ended pretty abruptly. We did decide to ignore the people waving us over to drop our rafts off as none of us believed it was already the end. This resulted in 50 people downriver of the end point so the Chinese boats around us spent the next hour trying to figure out how to tow our two separate tied together groups back to shore. None of us were really interested in helping since we wanted to stay on the river. We could have easily swum the 100 yards to shore. We ended up breaking three tug boats that weren’t meant to pull 25 people backwards at one time. At least we got to extend out float another hour. Even with the catastrophes that occurred on the river, and the hour of sitting down river, we were done within two and a half hours. So we spent 45 minutes at Bubba’s waiting for people that were late, 4.5 hours in a bus stopping every 45 minutes to pee, 30 minutes at a dump of a hotel, 20 more minutes finding the rafting place, 1.5 hours floating on the river and 1 hour wadding downstream from the stopping point. Not exactly a good use of time.

After the float, we ended up in a small “park” next to the river. The park must have been full, since they made us set up shop on a rocky landing where the dragon boats disembarked. They also were kind enough to provide three mini-charcoal grills that we were supposed to use to cook dinner for 40 people. I was starving after my adventure on the river and decided that buying some bbq from the locals for 5 or 10 kuai each was a better bet. The food was actually quite good and immediately available. The food we were grilling on the other hand wasn’t ready until the sun went down. At that point the natives were restless and hungry. We did manage to get a couple of chicken wings and a burger without a bun from the deal. At this point we ran out of beer, so it was time to head back to the hotel. Or so we thought…

Now if you recall, it only took us 20 minutes to get to the river from the hotel. Since we drove up stream to get to the place we launched and only floated for 2 hours, we had to be close to the hotel. In actuality we were only about 5 miles away. Somehow those five miles took over an hour and a half to drive. We made a wrong turn immediately after leaving the “park” and headed up a one way winding road. After about 20 minutes of driving it was pretty apparent that we were lost. We stopped and asked a few locals where we were, but the first few groups had no idea. We finally reached a point where the bus couldn’t get through. A local Chinese guy that spoke zero English pulled up next to us with a confused look on his face. The tour bus driver finally figured out that we had gone exactly the wrong way about 20 minutes ago. So we spent the next 10 minutes trying to turnaround a 50 person bus on a one way street. We then spent the next 20 minutes driving back to where we started and 5 minutes to the hotel.

At this point it was about 9 pm. Somehow we were all still hungry and didn’t have enough to drink. So we set up shop at a small restraint with tables on the street across the hotel. Bubba’s girlfriend is a local Chinese girl as well. Thus, she was in charge of ordering from a menu that the rest of us couldn’t read. We knew we were going to be eating fish since that was all that the place served. What we didn’t realize is that the owner of the restaurant would take about a 25 lb fish out of the tank, take it to the sidewalk and spike it as hard as he could. The fish bounced twice, gave two final flicks of its tail, and then went to fish heaven. It was delicious.

After devouring about 8 different dishes made from the fish that was just the victim of a cruel endzone celebration, a few people were looking for a bar to head to. I was looking for a place to pass out. So we headed back to our room and spent the next 8 hours sharing our bedroom with eight legged creatures and a small lizard.

The next morning everyone arrived in the lobby about 30 minutes after the agreed upon time. Some crazy people bought a number of beers from the local shops and started drinking early. The bus ride home had just as many pee stops and a special stop that took 45 minutes. Apparently about 15 of the people on the bus couldn’t wait the final hour and decided that they would eat KFC at the rest stop while the rest of us waited for them on the bus. If it was up to me they would still be at the rest stop, but the organizers waited for the crew. This put us even further behind schedule. By the time we made it back to Bubba’s it was after 3 pm and everyone was starving. We did order Bubba’s pulled pork sandwiches and a burger. Both of with were delicious. It was probably the only saving grace to an otherwise ridiculous experience. I have learned in the first 6 months of being in Shanghai that “everything is a little harder in China”. However, nothing should ever be that hard or that frustrating. Next year I will plan my own float trip. It will be in the pool at my apartment.