When we moved to Shanghai I took a risk in allocating 40 lbs of our allotted 750lbs of air shipment by bringing our bowling gear.After a few months here our bag was still collecting dust in our storage room, and we still hadn’t seen the inside of the bowling alley.At home we got the chance to bowl in a monthly league and I spent the past year having weekly bowl offs for lunch against Patrick with the end result of usually me buying.
Things soon changed when we heard about a weekly Wednesday league that was organized by one of the softball guys, “The Hammer”.Hammer is easily the best bowler in our misfit group and a great host for the league.He supplies a few rounds of Tsingtaos and covers for those of us who sometimes leave without paying him for bowling.He also organizes a skins game for those who like to gamble.We were pretty confused at first about the idea of winning skins in bowling but the concept makes the league a lot more fun for those of us who like to play.
Since our bowling group changes week to week with anywhere from 10 to 30 people, the skins system lets everyone come and go as they please while still establishing an average for the season ending tournament.We usually play 3-4 games each time with the first game being a warm up game.The next two games you can opt in or out of the skins game.You can win skins a few ways.Any split converted, any turkey, and high 10th frame all are automatic skins that will get you 5rmb per person for each skin.An untied high score each frame also wins a skin so there is plenty of rooting for/against other bowlers depending on the scenario.This skin creates a lot looks from other people bowling as our crowd gets pretty rowdy when only one strike is on the board.There is also a trash skin called the ‘CJ strike’ aptly named for one of the league member whose ability to throw a first ball gutter and still get a spare is legendary.Given that our best bowler has about a 180 average while the field averages around a 125, anyone can win money with this system.
This all culminated with a 16 man tournament to end the fall season. Timely corresponding with Thanksgiving, the big prize was a smoked turkey. The league is not short of big personalities, so the trash talking and wagers on who would win began a couple weeks in advance of the actual tournament. As the lone female in the tournament, I was letting everyone know that I was ‘dark horse’. I know my game is consistently inconsistent, thus I could either be an early exit or make a deep run into the finals.This was single elimination tournament so I was pretty nervous going in. However, my confidence rose quickly as I knocked out the defending champion by 60 pins in the first round. My next round was against the Hammer and I got a little lucky.The lanes were dry and he couldn’t find his mark and my 47 pin advantage was too much for him to overcome.Round three put me against my friend Adam, who had previously duped his girlfriend and I into a sucker bet the week before so I was out for blood.Karma was on my side as Adam bowled a sub par game and I won the match straight up without needing my 14 pin advantage.
I headed to the finals having to face Noah in a two game high total match. Noah was the biggest trash talker and most of the crowd was on my side. Unfortunately, I did not make the first match very interesting.I had a hard time following through and missed my mark just too many times, giving up my 30 pin advantage between two games. Winning straight up the next game was just too big of feat after four games behind me and my turkey dreams were soon crushed.I guess I’ll have to wait until next tourney for redemption.
Before coming to Shanghai I wasn’t a big fan of endurance sports. I was much more likely to be seen burning calories on an ice rink or a soccer field than pounding the pavement. I attribute this partly to the fact that I grew up in the suburbs and was never too far from an ice rink and or park. Since moving to Shanghai though, the opportunity to play team sports diminished quite a bit. I still spend Sunday’s in the spring and fall playing a pretty competitive level of softball, but Monday through Saturday was leaving a pretty big void.
A couple of friends of mine have always encouraged me to start getting into endurance sports. They run 10k’s, half marathons, and triathlons all of the time. One even travels to Asia every other year to compete internationally. I have always dismissed their suggestions as “not for me” because I thought running/biking/swimming was boring. Things changed this summer when I decided to do Shuan T’s “Insanity” workout program. For those of you unfamiliar, it is probably the most intense home training program on the market. It makes P90X seem easy. After completing the 60 day program (in about 70 days because I couldn’t keep up), I was probably in the best shape I had been in a very long time – maybe ever. I wasn’t motivated enough to start over and do 60 more days of insanity, so I decided that I needed a new goal. Enter endurance sports.
I started to set my sights on doing triathlons. The reason being is that I just couldn’t imagine myself running over 5 miles at a time, let alone 13 or 26. Thus, I decided that mixing in three activities might be more exciting. A couple of problems: 1 – I didn’t have a bike, 2 – I didn’t have any swim equipment, 3 – the only triathlons I could find were outside of China. Apparently endurance sports are not the most popular activity in Shanghai. I have solved two of the problems by buying a very nice Specialized bike and all new swimming gear. What I couldn’t fix was the fact that there were not any triathlons in the area. So in the meantime, I focused my attention on running… which is where the interesting part of the blog begins.
My ultimate goal is to compete in a half Ironman. I was hoping to compete with my friend in Singapore in March, although I am not sure a half Ironman is a great idea for my first tri. In the meantime, I have decided to register for two events. The second is the Shanghai half marathon on December 5th. I am still pretty nervous about running 13.1 miles at one time, but I have been training diligently and think I will be ready. The first event I ran was the Nike Shanghai 10k. This event took place in the Songjiang university district on the west side of Shanghai. Let me just say the runners were an interesting bunch.
I coaxed my Dad’s driver into picking me up at 6 AM and taking me out to Songjiang (about an hour from downtown – Shanghai is a big city). Registration was supposed to be from 6:30 to 7:30, with the event starting shortly there after. “Shortly there after” is a relative term in China. Since I arrived around 7, I was signed in and ready to go in plenty of time. Unlike events organized in the US, the starting area of the race wasn’t divided by the expected pace that the runners plan to run at. Instead, in true Chinese fashion, all the Chinese people decided that they needed to push their way as close to the start-finish line as possible. Also in Chinese tradition, the event organizers had split the groups into two classes. The common people (which I was apart of) was kept about 100 yards from the start finish line. In the “special group” the organizers had arranged for a local fitness trainer to lead people in calisthenics. What was particularly strange is that these individuals were probably the same people that had no business running 10k in the first place. There were out of shape people, people in jeans, and others wearing loafers all sweating to the pretty low impact exercises. Meanwhile, I was crammed like a sardine with the 10,000 Chinese students that were not part of the special group. After fifteen minutes of “yòu biān”-“zuǒ biān”, which means “right side-left side” we thought the event was starting. They dropped the rope and let us jog to the start/finish line. To our surprise, there was another rope at the actual line and now we had just run into the group of Jane Fonda imitators. The event coordinators were not too pleased. The stage was set up back where we had come from and they decided that 25 more minutes of speeches and introductions was necessary. Then, all of the sudden, without much notice the final rope was dropped, the clock started and we were off.
I thought this event was scheduled to be a 10k. Normally, a 10k requires a pretty consistent pace to complete the entire thing without passing out. This strategy was lost on about 70% of the Chinese students that were registered to run. It seemed like we were in a 100M sprint as people with backpacks, jeans, and dress shoes went flying by me in the first few meters. Needless to say I passed about 90% of these people within the first few kilometers as they had already begun walking or barfing on the side of the road. Certainly an interesting site watching 10-20 Chinese students losing their breakfast before the 2 km mark. I have to admit that I was a bit thrown off by the early pace. I had my training software set to tell me my pace every 1 mile. First update: 1 mile in 6 minutes 20 seconds. My response….oh shit! I was not prepared to run over 6 miles at a sub 7 pace. I was planning on about an 8 minute pace. After the first mile I knew I was going to be in trouble.
I ended up scaling down my pace to a more reasonable rate and ended up finishing my first 5km in 22 minutes and 30 seconds and finished the entire 10k in 46:14 (7:26/mile). This was about 3 minutes 30 seconds faster than my goal. I was happy about that, but my legs and body disagreed. It probably didn’t help that after the event I spent the afternoon walking around Sheshan Golf Club watching Tiger and Phil in the HSBC World Golf Championship. The race day proved a couple things to me. 1 – a half marathon is going to be a long run. 2 – I need to do much better at pacing myself. 3 – Chinese college students are terrible judges of their athletic abilities.
My training for the Shanghai half marathon has continued with me running 4 days a week. I typically put in between 5 and 10 km. The best part about training is running through the streets of Shanghai. Each run is full of excitement due to the looks I get from Chinese people wondering who is chasing me and the constant excitement of almost getting hit by cars/trucks/bikes/pedestrians/buses. On yesterday’s run I made the mistake of turning down one of the busier streets in Shanghai. Since the streets were packed with people it was going to be impossible to run on the sidewalk. Traffic was hardly moving so I decided that using the shoulder was a safe bet. Little did I realize that the shoulder was reserved for “bumper bikes.” I was about halfway down the street as an older gentleman on a bike pulled out directly in front of me. I figured that he was on bike and I was on foot he would likely be moving faster than me so I pulled up behind him. I was wrong and this guy was seriously slowing down my pace. So I juked left, split two cars and came back out in front of this guy. Apparently that must have had a negative impact on his “face”, because he was not happy that I passed him. I didn’t realize this until I felt the guys tire ramming the back of my leg. Not once, not twice, but three times in about 10 strides. As I turned over my shoulder to see what the deal was, I saw the same guy I had just passed with a slight grin on his face. Apparently giving me tire burns was hilarious to him. I tried to let it go and picked up the pace a little bit. About two blocks later he had caught back up and tried to bump me again. This time I was prepared. I side stepped his tire, which put him right next to me. An “accidental” nudge of my elbow into his handle bar sent the guy veering off into the guard rail. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him fall rather harmlessly onto the side walk and yell something at me in Chinese. I felt bad for about .5 seconds until I looked down at my left leg and saw the tire burns. I wonder how his “face” is after a “lǎowài” put him on his ass?
World Expo is coming to a close at the end of October. As the end approaches people are scrambling to see it numbers that are truly mind blowing. During the recent holiday the peak days have topped 1 million people. The Expo site itself is huge and this whole lot will soon be torn down with the exception of a few pavilions that will be kept for tourist purposes mostly. Some countries are trying to “rehome” their pavilions to keep with the theme of 'Better City, Better Life' to encourage recycling, but many will likely end up in the trash.
I had the chance to experience Expo three ways in the past two months and each way had its positives and negatives.
Pub Crawl Expo Jeff and I decided to join one of our friends who organized a small pub crawl through the Expo. She had previously sent out a powerpoint map which included all the bar stops along Expo, so we knew this was going to be serious. I was eager to go since I had yet to experience Expo, but was a little nervous as I was recovering from a bout of Salmonella. I decided to throw caution to the wind and on a Saturday afternoon we decided to head up a little early to hit up a great BBQ place for lunch. 1.5 hours later we were still searching for our lunch spot and 10+ volunteers had still not been able to point us in the right direction. One recommended we get on a bus and take it to the other end and maybe someone there could point us in the right direction. Mind you we had the address of this location in Chinese but no one could tell us where this elusive Expo village was located (apparently not inside Expo). We soon gave up and decided on some fast food African style before meeting up for the crawl. Lunch was not a disappointment but after the earlier frustration we were ready for a beer. We made our way to the Belgium pavilion for some waffles and ice cream for desert and a Hoegarden to wash it down. Here we met up with our pub crawl group and about 7 of us started at a hidden cafe inside Belgium. Here's the short of it . . . Belgium: Chimnay beer . . . tasty and a good way to start Germany:1/2 liters of light and dark beer . . . we were smart enough to split the beer with a partner as this was only stop 2 Netherlands: unscheduled pit stop as our plans to cross the street were foiled by a parade. Cheap Heinekens were a bonus but mine was skunked. I handed it over to Jeff to finish. Lithuania: Had to talk our way in since the bar was within the pavilion. This was pretty easy since most of us did not carry a Chinese passport, don’t look Chinese and were looking to spend money on beers. They served Svyturys which did not disappoint. Another 1/2 liter, but not smart enough to share this time. Mexico: Dinner stop and time for some margaritas. This pavilion treated us well, hooking us up with some free guac and churros. Our group of now 11 probably helped our cause. Cuba: I wanted a mojito and Jeff wanted a cigar, but at 9pm it was already closed. Guess I will still never make it to Cuba. Malta: Last stop for us, drinking 1/2 liters is a little much. Cisk beer was decent. Good deal on two bottles of wine. We were suckered in and brought them home for later use. Verdict: Fun time with good people. Avoided most of the crowds as Chinese people prefer standing in line to seeing countries the way they should be….through the bottom of an empty beer stein. Still felt functional the next day. Not a cheap way to see Expo . . . beers ranged from 20rmb-45rmb. Probably spent around 600rmb p/p . . . oh well :)
Visitor Expo My dad was visiting in the beginning of October so we decided to head over to Expo on a Thursday morning hoping it wouldn't be too crowded. At first things were promising as we walked right into the Australia pavilion. After a strange video we left hoping for something better but most of the day ended up as a disappointment. Most Expo lines were a minimum of 1 hour wait. We went with the strategy of going only where we could walk into and ended up seeing many unimpressive pavilions. Hungary, Czech, Africa . . . I lost count. We didn't make it too long in the day as jet lag and walking around with crowds of people don't mesh well. Verdict: Much cheaper than bar crawl but definitely not as much fun. 190rmb ticket to get in plus lunch only set us back around 250rmb. We did not have the fake passports that people run around getting stamped because they will never in fact be allowed to travel to those countries. I might have been impressed if I was 8 . . . otherwise I will just travel there myself.
The After Party Expo Nick was in town visiting and wanted to check out Expo. I got an invite to go the USA pavilion staff party so I thought it might be a good opportunity for us to go. Nick headed up early to walk through with his mom and Pat. I skipped this part as I had enough of walking through Expo. I met up with a friend and we met Nick who was already starting his night drinking with a large beer at the Canada bar. We quickly decided we needed to do a quick mini pub crawl to start our night so we headed to the Czech pavilion to each try a light and dark beer. Next stop was Malta and we were talked into trying their 9% beer. This was in hindsight a mistake, things may have started to get fuzzy due to this stop. We next head over to the party which was originally scheduled to be outside between two pavilions, but due to weather was inside. Since we were definitely not Expo staff we left it to our friends to talk our way in and were soon enjoying 10rmb beers and the dreaded jungle juice for 35rmb. The night is a blur of music, people, drinking, dancing and dance-offs. Around 2:30am the group decides to call it quits as most of them have to work the next day since it was a Tuesday. Nick adamantly wanted to stay and disappeared back into the crowd. After warning him his taxi card probably won't lead him to the right place, I gave up and headed to McDoanlds. Nick calls over an hour later confused how to get into his parents place but thankfully made it to the right apartment complex. Downside is he is dropped off at the first building and had to spend the next 30 minutes going in and out of buildings and elevators until he stumbled his way to his parents (about 1 km away from the first). Verdict: This night was a blast but not good for our health. I woke up with the spins after 4 hours of sleep and it was a rough ride to the airport to send my dad home. I rallied and still made it to bowling at least. Rumor has it Nick did not move the entire next day! His mom says he can't go out with me anymore :)
Jeff and I recently got to put our BBQ judge skills to the test when we were invited to judge Bubba's annual chili cook-off. BBQ . . . chili . . . it's all meat. We showed up with our appetites at 11 am on a Saturday at the secondary location. The first location was called off due to the fact that if fell on the anniversary of Japan’s invasion of China and the Japanese consulate is around the corner from Bubba’s. Organized protests and large groups of people do not mesh well with China, so keeping 1,000 drunk people was deemed essential by the Chinese government.
Upon arrival we were given free entry to the event and lead upstairs so we could not fraternize with the teams. There were 23 chili entries so it was previously decided that the first round judges would be divided into two teams and the top six from each group would advance to a new round of final judges. Since this was a Texas chili cook-off, we relegated to the first round of judging. A pre-requisite for judging the finals is that you had to hail from Texas. I don’t think my quote from Full Metal Jacket of “only steers and queers come from Texas” helped either.
Chili was to be judged on aroma, appearance and taste on a 1-10 scale. This is an officially sanctioned event, so Texas chili rules applied. This meant that no “fillers” are allowed in Texas chili. So beans, fruit and whatever else you can think of were out. The chili had to be comprised of your choice of meat, onions, peppers and whatever seasoning preferred. Beer and crackers were provided to cleanse the palate between tastes. Now we are not connoisseurs of chili, but we can taste the difference between good chili and bad chili. One judge described about 25% of the chilies as something that “he would never order again if it was on a restaurant menu”. I would second that and say there was only about 25% of the chilies that I would order every time I went to the restaurant that served them. The other 50% were average at best. I guess you can’t complain when it is free and includes beer to wash it down.
After we had completed our responsibilities for tasting we were released to enjoy the event with the only other task of rating which teams had the best theme. The pictures here are from the second place “theme” of prison chili. The clear winner was “Heart Attack Chili”, which the team hired some local Chinese women to wear tiny nurses outfits and “inject” you with free booze. Jeff and I spent the next hour tasting all the chili's and deciding which one of us tasted it in our separate groups. It was pretty easy to distinguish the best one from my group and eventual winner of the contest. The Tabasco team made a simple tasty chili that also won the previous year. Jeff was adamant that a green chicken chili from his group might take home the prize, but he seemed to forget that this was a Texas chili competition. Texans don't want chicken in their chili and they don’t want it green. I am sure we will attend and next year and are hopefully invited back to judge. Spending a Saturday in Shanghai listening to live music, drinking and eating chili with a large group of expats is definitely a good way to feel close to home.
First and foremost, my wife and I are very average bowlers. Her average is a respectable 120 and I am lucky to bowl around 160. Very common scores for any avid bowler back in the US. However, as is true with most things is China, being average is pretty exceptional.
About three weeks ago a friend of ours asked us if we were interested in playing in a bowling tournament. He said that a Japanese team called Medaka from the Shanghai Softball league was putting together a team for a Japanese bowling tournament. With nothing better to do on Saturday August 28th, we agreed. Not until we agreed did we get informed of why we were invited. Apparently we were the “ringers” they were bringing in to win. Here is a brief overview of the rules of this tournament.
Using your own ball results in a 40 pin penalty / game
All ladies on the team will receive a 20 pin bonus / game
Two singles games and two pairs games will be played. Highest total score wins.
I can only assume that we were invited to play with this Japanese team because we fit the stereotype of a “good bowler”. First, we are American. Second, we are from the Midwest. Third, we like to drink beer. Fourth, we fit the “profile” of a bowler. You have to love stereotypes.
Not knowing what to expect, we showed up at the Hongkou bowling center at 8:45 AM on Saturday morning. A bit hung over from a night out and with Katie fighting off a nagging cold, our expectations were not that high. When we arrived we were shocked to see 31 other teams of 6-8 people crowding the lobby area. Roughly 90% of these individuals were Japanese, 9% were Chinese, and exactly one other person (other than us) was white. Since only 16 teams could bowl at a time, we ended up not playing until 9:45 AM. This proved to be a huge blessing as three of us headed over to KFC for some breakfast. We also got to size up the competition as the first set of games ended. Seeing very few scores above 150, we figured our chances were better than originally thought. Quickly we were humbled. Our first game saw us play a team of matching shirts. Now textiles are not exactly the most expensive thing in Shanghai, but when you put together a team shirt for a $25 / person tournament, you are taking it pretty seriously.
A quick loss to this team reduced our hopes of having a successful day. That is until we realized that our chances of finishing in the money actually increased by losing our first game. The way the tournament was set up is that all the winners of the first round “advanced” to the winners bracket. All of the losers were “relegated” to the losers bracket. However, the only discernable difference was that the winners bracket was sending two teams to the finals and the losers bracket was only sending one. However, all the best teams won their first games, so we got matched up with a bunch of never-will-bes. If I could read Japanese or could have figured out how the bracket worked in advance, then I probably would have suggested throwing the first game anyways. Thus, our slow start was a blessing in disguise.
After our opening loss, we played two consecutive games against pretty terrible bowlers. The second game, however, came down to the final frame. With about a 40 pin lead heading into the final frame we thought we had the game well in hand. All of the sudden, a bunch of bowlers that were struggling to break 100 were throwing balls like they were Norm Duke. First bowler goes strike-spare. The second bowler goes strike-strike-8. Our two doubles teams fail to mark. All of the sudden our lead has evaporated.
For some strange reason Japanese teams put their best two bowlers in the first and second positions and their worst bowlers in the third and fourth position. With our two singles players still to bowl, we figured to still be in a good position. I was bowling 3rd and rolled a 9-spare-9. The pairs team bowling against me consisted of a girl that struggled to hit any pins and a guy that wasn’t picking up the garbage she was leaving him. True to form the girl started the frame with a ball that took about 30 seconds to get down the lane and flirted with both gutters before clipping the ten pin. The second bowler missed the headpin, but somehow picked up the spare as pins were falling in every direction and one miraculously clipped the two pin, which brushed the headpin just hard enough to have it wobble and fall. Spare! Luckily the girl was up again and managed a 3, which was about 2.5 points above her average / ball for the first 9 frames.
Since I was working off of a strike, we had regained a slight lead of 7 pins. With our anchor up (the 3rd American on the team) and another of their girl/guy combos, we were feeling pretty good. We were up first and our anchor rolled a nice ball right into the pocket, but only managed an 8. A typical house ball result. With the 5-8 left, we figured to pick up the spare and be heading to the next round. A slight miss to the right on ball number two put is us deep water. Up 15 pins with the other team left to bowl. The girl, looking very nervous, kept the ball on the lane for about 10 feet before it tumbled into the gutter. This was a huge sigh of relief for our team. Up next was a guy that had failed to strike (or 0-spare) the entire game. We thought we would escape. Little did we know this guy was saving his best for last. The ball looked good out of his hand and rolled directly toward the pocket. A well deserved spare was the result. As the Japanese team celebrated, a quick calculation determined that the girl needed only 3 pins for the most unlikely comeback of the day. This fact was not lost on her either. Looking rather ill, the young lady took the ball from the rack, took a deep breath and began her approach. The ball left her hand in a similar manner as the first 9 frames: wobbly and unpredictable. It started relatively straight, but as the ball rolled forward it was clear it was heading right. The question was how far right? As the ball fell into the gutter about 5 feet in front of the pins we realized we had survived.
The next two rounds were pretty uneventful as we picked up our game considerably and cruised through the final two matches of the losers bracket. This put us up against the two undeniable favorites for the tournament. We were up against an all girls team getting 120 bonus pins and their husbands, a bunch of Chinese guys bowling in the 160s. The girl’s team had been put up the 4 highest scores in their route to the final. The guys were right on their heals, consistently putting up scores in the 600s. We were overmatched and it showed. The girls ended up beating both of us without needing the bonus 120 pins as they put up scores of 183, 178, 165, and 159. A third place finish, an 80 RMB / person prize, and 6 games of bowling was well worth the 150 RMB / person entry fee. We are definitely looking forward to the next Japanese House Ball Tournament.
We are a little behind in posting but I thought I would post the most amusing ad I have seen yet. I recently subscribed to enjoymeitian.com which sends out daily deals at a reduced price for 24hours. I ordered another enjoy shanghai coupon book for the bargain price of $13 USD (normally $40). While the book is still MIA because my chinese is not good enough to understand the delivery men, I still check out the daily deals. This one is a winner.
The Deal It is possible to relieve stress by popping handfuls of Tic Tacs, or purchasing a small animal to squeeze intermittently, but the most effective way to release tension is to beat the poo out of inanimate objects. Taekwondo is one of the world’s most popular martial arts because it allows much kicking, punching and doing of the splits. Improve your ability to break bricks using your hands with four classes at XuLin Taekwondo Club worth RMB200 but only costing RMB100 with today’s reduced price. Of course, it isn’t advisable for beginners to start off their martial arts career hitting bricks – unless they wish to find themselves stuck in hospital being fed by a stentorian nurse with hips that could straddle the Yangtze. At XuLin, safety is of the highest importance, which is why everyone learns the basics of safe practice before going all “Jackie Chan” on hostile park benches. Sample the delights of increased strength and flexibility over four classes to decide whether Taekwondo is the right kick-arse technique for you. A Korean martial art, Taekwondo translates (very loosely) as a method for breaking people or things using a flurry of fists and feet. Balance and agility are key aspects of perfecting this style of fighting, providing a rounded sporting activity to develop a variety of core fitness areas.
The Venue Xulin Taekwondo Club is an independently run facility belonging to LanXiang Art Institute. Advanced equipment is matched by a team of outstanding coaches, who put safety and satisfaction as a priority. The HuangXing Road venue covers an area of 140 square meters, while the larger FengCheng Road venue covers 400 square meters.
Taekwondo takes a lot of energy and is a very cool way to exercise the muscles. I started with basic training and the coach is very good and teaches the actions very professionally. 脑浆 - dianping
Enjoy Says
Once you have achieved a black belt in Taekwondo, you must face the difficult task of choosing between good and evil.
Good: Use it only as a way to bring light into the lives of others, rescuing cats from trees with new-found agility and restarting the hearts of elderly pensioners with your bare hands. Occasionally, you beat someone up just to see the smile on a child's face.
Evil: Wield it as a weapon of terror, stealing babies' lollipops and laughing manically while sucking on the sweet stolen treasure. Sometimes, you may even have to use it to break down concrete walls, helping a crazed evil genius to redecorate his newly bought mansion in Bel Air.
We recently had the opportunity to join in on a float trip in Chang Hua, China. We have had some good times floating down the Au Sable River in Michigan so we were definitely excited for the prospects of the weekend. Our journey began at Bubba's Texas BBQ, a place that always has the best barbeque in China. It was our understanding that our bus trip would begin at 9AM and take roughly 3 hours to get to the hotel. We would then check in and head to the river for an afternoon of rafting followed by barbeque dinner at a local park. Since this was the 3rd annual float trip, we figured we were in good hands. Only after we signed up we learned that they were testing out a new location since this group had already established a reputation at the last location. How bad could it be…
… well, lets just say that we started off on the wrong foot and never really got back on track. The day started with the bus leaving about 45 minutes behind schedule as people decided that the start time was a suggestion. When we got on the bus the entire bus started drinking beers like we would never have a chance to consume another beverage. This was mistake #1 as the bus had no bathrooms and fit about 50 people. Needless to say, stopping was a frequent occurrence on the bus ride out. The bus also lacked garbage cans, and although this was the 3rd float trip, the organizers didn’t think that bringing garbage bags was important. Thus, after about an hour the aisle of the bus was littered with empty beer cans and cigarettes. As the quantity of beers accumulated on the floor so did the need for people to empty their bladders. The first stop occurred about an hour into the trip at a decent little rest stop off of the highway. Everyone used what I would describe as four star bathrooms (more on that in another post) and got back on the bus to continue the drinking. Little did we know this would be the first of many stops and the driver was instructed to stop pretty much every 45 minutes. If a rest stop was not available we simply just stopped on the freeway. Around four stops and 4.5 hours later we finally make it to our hotel. Thus, it was now about 2 pm and everyone was well lubricated and ready to check in.
The hotel looked somewhat promising at first . . . the lobby looked nice and we were told it was a three star hotel. In my estimation they received one star for having a door with a lock, a second store for having electricity and a third star for providing a free bowl of porridge for breakfast. The place was much more of a dive than anything I have ever stayed in. Two twin unmade beds, an old school tv and a bathtub that looked like it may fall apart at any moment were our digs for the next 24 hours. Not a big deal since we were only using it to sleep. After 30 minutes of putzing around, we final loaded up the bus again and headed out to the river. Twenty minutes later we were getting off the bus and loading up the rafts.
The first 100 meters of the float trip went great. We loaded up the coolers and tied about three rafts together and started floating. About 100 meters down we realized that this river had some small rapids along the route. The first of which had a rather large rock in the middle of it. Since our rafts were going to crash into it, I got out and steered us clear. Realizing that we were the first ones floating down the river, every other raft was likely to have to navigate this obstacle as well. Thus, I stayed on the rock and steered others clear the rock as well. That was mistake #1. The last raft came crashing into me throwing my sunglasses into the river. After a feeble attempt to retrieve them, I realized that I had missed the last raft and would have to swim down the river to try and catch up. Unfortunately the river was about 1.5 feet deep and my knees and ankles were getting torn up. As I reached the last set of four rafts, the floaters asked if I would help them tie-up. Since I was already in the water I didn’t mind. They threw me the rope and I begin stringing the rafts together. As I was just about to tie the final knot, the group hit another set of rapids. With no warning from the people on the rafts I ended up taking a rather large rock off the shins. At that point I lost the rope momentarily as I was trying to avoid further injury. At the tail end of the rapids I made a diving attempt for the rope to save the swim to catch up. Just barely making it I thought I was fortunate, until I realized that my left hand felt a bit different. During my attempt to hold onto the rope over the rapids I ended up losing my wedding ring. Thus, we are about 20 minutes into the float and I am bleeding from both knees, I have a large bruise on my shin and I am out a pair of sunglasses and a wedding ring.
One would think that I would have learnt my lesson and just crawled back in the boat and drowned my sorrows. I must not have that much common sense because as we approached the next set of rapids I saw a middle aged guy from our group with his Chinese girlfriend stuck on the side of the river with a boat full of water. This dude wasn’t exactly in peak physical condition and his girlfriend didn’t look to interested in getting wet, let alone helping empty the boat. So, stupidly, I dove back in and swam over to help them out. At this point the Chinese girl had managed to make it to the bank with most of their gear. The guy was holding on to a completely filled raft with one hand while holding onto some rocks with the other. After about three attempts of flipping the boat we finally made it. But when we did we also let go of it. The boat ended up floating down the river about 100 meters with no one in it and me swimming after it. Luckily it got caught on a tree and I was able to catch up to it. I didn’t lose anything during this adventure, other than the remainder of my buzz.
The floating ended pretty abruptly. We did decide to ignore the people waving us over to drop our rafts off as none of us believed it was already the end.This resulted in 50 people downriver of the end point so the Chinese boats around us spent the next hour trying to figure out how to tow our two separate tied together groups back to shore.None of us were really interested in helping since we wanted to stay on the river. We could have easily swum the 100 yards to shore. We ended up breaking three tug boats that weren’t meant to pull 25 people backwards at one time.At least we got to extend out float another hour. Even with the catastrophes that occurred on the river, and the hour of sitting down river, we were done within two and a half hours. So we spent 45 minutes at Bubba’s waiting for people that were late, 4.5 hours in a bus stopping every 45 minutes to pee, 30 minutes at a dump of a hotel, 20 more minutes finding the rafting place, 1.5 hours floating on the river and 1 hour wadding downstream from the stopping point. Not exactly a good use of time.
After the float, we ended up in a small “park” next to the river. The park must have been full, since they made us set up shop on a rocky landing where the dragon boats disembarked. They also were kind enough to provide three mini-charcoal grills that we were supposed to use to cook dinner for 40 people. I was starving after my adventure on the river and decided that buying some bbq from the locals for 5 or 10 kuai each was a better bet. The food was actually quite good and immediately available. The food we were grilling on the other hand wasn’t ready until the sun went down. At that point the natives were restless and hungry. We did manage to get a couple of chicken wings and a burger without a bun from the deal. At this point we ran out of beer, so it was time to head back to the hotel. Or so we thought…
Now if you recall, it only took us 20 minutes to get to the river from the hotel. Since we drove up stream to get to the place we launched and only floated for 2 hours, we had to be close to the hotel. In actuality we were only about 5 miles away. Somehow those five miles took over an hour and a half to drive. We made a wrong turn immediately after leaving the “park” and headed up a one way winding road. After about 20 minutes of driving it was pretty apparent that we were lost. We stopped and asked a few locals where we were, but the first few groups had no idea. We finally reached a point where the bus couldn’t get through. A local Chinese guy that spoke zero English pulled up next to us with a confused look on his face. The tour bus driver finally figured out that we had gone exactly the wrong way about 20 minutes ago. So we spent the next 10 minutes trying to turnaround a 50 person bus on a one way street. We then spent the next 20 minutes driving back to where we started and 5 minutes to the hotel.
At this point it was about 9 pm. Somehow we were all still hungry and didn’t have enough to drink. So we set up shop at a small restraint with tables on the street across the hotel. Bubba’s girlfriend is a local Chinese girl as well. Thus, she was in charge of ordering from a menu that the rest of us couldn’t read. We knew we were going to be eating fish since that was all that the place served. What we didn’t realize is that the owner of the restaurant would take about a 25 lb fish out of the tank, take it to the sidewalk and spike it as hard as he could. The fish bounced twice, gave two final flicks of its tail, and then went to fish heaven. It was delicious.
After devouring about 8 different dishes made from the fish that was just the victim of a cruel endzone celebration, a few people were looking for a bar to head to. I was looking for a place to pass out. So we headed back to our room and spent the next 8 hours sharing our bedroom with eight legged creatures and a small lizard.
The next morning everyone arrived in the lobby about 30 minutes after the agreed upon time. Some crazy people bought a number of beers from the local shops and started drinking early. The bus ride home had just as many pee stops and a special stop that took 45 minutes. Apparently about 15 of the people on the bus couldn’t wait the final hour and decided that they would eat KFC at the rest stop while the rest of us waited for them on the bus. If it was up to me they would still be at the rest stop, but the organizers waited for the crew. This put us even further behind schedule. By the time we made it back to Bubba’s it was after 3 pm and everyone was starving. We did order Bubba’s pulled pork sandwiches and a burger. Both of with were delicious. It was probably the only saving grace to an otherwise ridiculous experience. I have learned in the first 6 months of being in Shanghai that “everything is a little harder in China”. However, nothing should ever be that hard or that frustrating. Next year I will plan my own float trip. It will be in the pool at my apartment.
Readers back in the US likely have no idea what the World Expo is or the fact that is being held in Shanghai this summer. I certainly had no idea before I came. The World Expo is the current version of the old "World Fair", which honestly I only vaguely remember from an episode of the Simpsons. I also highly doubt that any Chinese citizen had ever heard of the Expo until Shanghai was awarded it and the marketing campaigns began. Either way, Shanghai is well on its way to setting the two records that they set out to smash when they began planning the event: (1) Largest area used (2) most people to attend. In terms of size, China has already won that title as the Shanghai Expo site covers 2 square miles. This is significantly larger than any previous Expo. The currently record holder for most attended World Expo is Montreal, Canada with 50 million people. That record will be smashed at the current pace of 400,000 – 500,000 people per day that the Chinese government is reporting. Although, I am not sure I trust the Chinese government's weather forecast, let alone a self-serving report of the number of people that are going through the turnstiles. Either way, the point is the Expo is huge in China and very crowded.
A couple weeks back me, my Dad and a friend of ours decided to brave the elements of a Shanghai summers eve (and the crowds of 400,000 Chinese people) and head over to the Expo. The Expo is a bit expensive for an entire days pass (about $28), but the price drops about $10 for an evening ticket (after 5 pm according to the website and 4 pm according to the signs at the ticket gate). Thus, we decided to skip out of work at 4 pm one Friday and press our luck.
Every local person in Shanghai appears to be an "expert" when it comes to the Expo. Everyone has advice on which gate to use, which lines are worth waiting for, how you can avoid the lines, which pavilions have no lines, etc. Funny thing is, these experts seem to differ on every one of the topics just mentioned. The result was we really didn't have much of a plan prior to the event. The only thing we knew for sure was that only special taxis are allowed into the expo drop off areas. Thus, we had my Dad's driver call a special cab for us. We decided to take the advice of a colleague of mine and use Gate 5. She said that this was the only gate that was on the Pudong side that was not near a subway stop or bus stop. Therefore, it should be much less crowded. She was right. We walked up, bought our tickets and made it through the queue in about 5 minutes. We were encouraged to see that just as many people were leaving as were coming. Raising our hopes a little that the 4 hour lines we had heard about may not exist on this day.
Our hopes were soon dashed as we walked past the Saudi Arabia pavilion. Commonly known in Shanghai as the 2nd best pavilion after the Chinese pavilion, this line was rumored to be 4-5 hours on most days. As we walked past the line, we noticed the sign that said "approximately 3 hours wait from this point". As people were still piling up after that point, we realized that our hopes of seeing the most popular pavilions were probably crushed. However, we were encouraged that this line was only two thirds as long as it usually is. Thus, we figured we might be able to see a couple of pavilions that are on the "moderately popular" list.
The list of places that were worth seeing and had small lines included: Malaysia, Indonesia, and the South Pacific joint pavilion. Since we entered in the Asia/Middle East region, we decided to start with a pavilion there and make our way "across the world" over to Europe. First stop: Nepal. Positives were that the line was short. The negatives were that there were no Sherpa to guide us and really not much to see inside. Thus, we took a quick spin through and decided that our tour of Asia would come to an end.
Based on the recommendations and the fact that South East Asia and the South Pacific pavilions are located between where we started and where we were going, we headed over to the South Pacific joint pavilion next. This pavilion was basically a combination of small island nations including places like Fiji, Tahiti and Bora Bora plus about 10 islands I had never heard of. The best part about this pavilion was A) it was air-conditioned, B) it was empty and C) you could play the game "guess how many people live there" or "guess what the highest point of elevation is". One island only had 1,000 permanent residents and a highest elevation point of 5 meters. Who knew?
After our "tour" of the South Pacific, we wandered over to the Malaysia pavilion. Again, no waiting. Two for two on the advice of places to see. This pavilion was a bit disappointing. It would have been really cool if all of the stuff that they had inside was working. Unfortunately, either nothing was on or everything was broken. The golf simulator was collecting dust, the touch screens with mini-movies were barely functioning and the simulated jungle left a lot to be desired. It was air-conditioned and there was a very small line.
About this time we decided that it was time to get dinner. We were told that the Australian pavilion had Aussie BBQ. We were lied to. However, we didn't learn that until after we got the "non-Asian people" treatment. As we approached a worker from the Australian pavilion to inquire about the food options, he asked if we had been inside yet. We said we hadn't, but were looking for the Aussie restaurant. He asked where we were from, to which we responded "The States". He said that was close enough and escorted past the 2+ hour line of Chinese people to the front door. He left us with a "enjoy the show mate!" The show was a weird combination of a movie and statues and a bunch of other stuff. It was based on three kids talking about the future. Although two of the three were clearly not Chinese, they decided that the kids all spoke fluent Chinese. Thus, I was left reading the English subtitles and recognizing every 3rd word being spoken. It was a decent show, probably not worth the 2 hour wait, but since we didn't have to wait, it was one of the highlights of the trip. The food at the pavilion was not. Instead of a restaurant there was basically a fast food window. They were serving Aussie burgers, meat pies, and fish and chips. One of us had each. The burger was reported as average at best, the fish and chips weren't memorable, and the meat pie was the size of a king-dong. See the movie, skip the food.
Our tour of the South Pacific and Southeast Asia was coming to an end. We decided to head toward the UK pavilion and check out any pavilions that looked interesting on the way. The UK pavilion had been rumored to be one of the coolest ones to look at from the outside. The reason being is that they were supposed to have translucent tubing filled with seeds from all over the world protruding like spikes from a ball in the center. Thus, it was on our list of things to see. On the way over there we stopped at Finland, Romania, Greece, Iceland and Ireland. Finland, Greece, Romania and Ireland had no wait. They were all worth walking through, but certainly not worth waiting for. The Iceland pavilion had probably a 30 minute wait because the pavilion had a 15 minute movie that was shown on the inside of all six sides of the pavilion's cube shape. We managed to skip the line as an employee entrance to the cube happened to be open and we were in the right place at the right time. The movie was really neat and probably worth the wait anyways. It was certainly a highlight of the evening. As we left the Iceland pavilion we realized that we had just visited two pavilions (Iceland and Greece) that probably had no business being at the Expo since their countries are basically bankrupt. Iceland definitely did a lot more with their limited funds than Greece did.
We had finally made it to the UK pavilion. We were extremely disappointed. By this time the sun had set and most of the pavilions had very nice lighting to showcase their pavilions. UK was not one of these. What I had described before was almost impossible to see in the evening. There was no backlighting or spotlights or anything that would even remotely display the uniqueness of the architecture of the pavilion. The line was still very long, so we passed on waiting to see something that we could barely make out from a distance. Instead we headed over to the Netherlands and Spain (which was playing each other in the World Cup finals that next Sunday). Based on the pavilions alone, we decided that Spain was going to win. There pavilion was much more impressive and finished with a two story moving "Baby of the Future". Very strange, but very intriguing.
We wrapped up our day with a quick trip through the Monaco pavilion and some Belgium beer and waffles. All in all it was a good evening and changed my attitude towards the Expo. It is a place that you can go to keep yourself entertained for a day. It is probably best to skip the lines and see places that you have never been (or never plan on going). On my next trip I would like to see the African pavilion, Indonesia and venture to the Puxi side to check out the corporate and city pavilions.
Jeff had a work training in Hong Kong this past weekend, so we took this opportunity to check it off our list of places to see along with Macau. Now Jeff had about 50 places he wanted to see in a matter of a weekend. I was not quite sure how we were going to accomplish this, but was up for the ride. My only request for the weekend was to go the Wonderfish Spa to get a foot treatment given by little Garra Rufu fish that nibble on your feet to get the dead skin off. More on that later . ..
Sunday is reserved for Macau and we didn't put too much thought into how long the commute to get there could take. Besides for the one hour ferry ride, you still have to clear immigration since you are departing Hong Kong and this is a huge tourist trap so travel time to get to our first casino was about 3 hours. I had made the executive decision to skip all site seeing and head straight to the casino. The site seeing we were missing out on was of Portuguese style cobblestone streets leading down from a ruined cathedral. We were informed later on this was probably a great decision and we were better off just going to Portugal some time in our life. The following will probably only makes sense to those of you that gamble and play blackjack but all of you can take from this that the casino was quite an interesting experience.
We took the free shuttle to the City of Dreams casino and after a quick look around we decided to grab a free spot at the $100 table(we are talking Hong Kong $). This is equivalent to the $10USD tables that sometimes arise at the MGM Detroit. For those of you that play blackjack you can probably recount the times you get irritated by a few people who have no idea what they are doing sitting down at the table that you silently curse as they refuse to take their hits (not so silently if your name is Jeff). If this really gets to you then avoid walking into a casino in Macau. However, for the entertainment value I highly recommend taking a seat. The few first things that we learned is there is a whole new set a rules in Asia. Talking on your cell at the table, taking notes and betting on other peoples hands were all allowed here. People that don't know or want to play can still lose their money by betting along with you. If you have a stack of chips and just hit a blackjack you can be sure someone is going to plop their $100 chip right behind yours. Since we do not speak Cantonese and the dealer seemed okay with this, we decided just to let it go. There is also an option to bet on getting a pair at 11-1 odds. While the odds are definitely not in your favor, many people enjoy this bet and we saw one lucky girl win over $4000 as she kept hitting pairs on different peoples hands. The other thing we learned is that Chinese people were in favor of fortune telling instead of statistics when playing. These people would rather see the dealer make his hand instead of busting early taking their hits. I am not sure that any person ever hit on a 16 and a 15 hit was agonizing. The man in the last seat would make every decision with the same grueling thought process as if he was deciding to take a loved one off life support. It did not matter if the dealer had a 3 or a 10, this guy seemed to want to will the cards to be the right number. Sometimes people would take their hits to the safe 17 and disappointed to see the next person get a 2. "I could have had a 19!" That is what I am assuming they yelled next in Cantonese. We were entertained but decided to go try our luck at the new Hard Rock table upstairs. Since there was a completely free $200 table, we thought we were better off there. We couldn't have been more wrong. As the dealer drew to 20 and 21 on the next 5 hands, Jeff quickly lost all his money and I was lucky to push a few times so I was just down. We decided to escape from this money pit.
Feeling inspired from parts of 'Indecent Proposal' which was on the night before I decided I had a feeling for red and told Jeff we should bet the remaining $600 on roulette. Of course, he was game for this and we found an open table. The dealer looked very confused as I set it all down on red. It became apparent that most people don't roll this way in Asia and he asked us if we wanted the chips to spread our bet. I declined as Jeff quoted the scene where Woody Harrelson loses all his money on red. I refrain from smacking him and stick with my bet. Red it is and we are almost back to even! It is hard to pull yourself away when you hit a big bet but we decide not to push our luck this time and head over to the Venetian. There is really not much to say about it. It is sub par to Vegas, the table minimums were higher and Jeff almost managed to lose his wallet in the pooper. I decide I hate it and we head back to the City of Dreams. I hear the $100 blackjack table calling our names again. A few hours later we walk away with an added $2000 HK, expenses paid and we got to spend the day in air conditioning. Definitely a win in my book. Jeff decided he would like to open a casino only open to the Chinese sometime in the near future.
A strange phenomenon happened right around the beginning of the Dragon Boat Festival in Shanghai (June 16th). All of the sudden, every Chinese male in Shanghai decided that looking decent in public was no longer required. I started noticing this on the weekends when we were strolling around town. We live in a part of Shanghai referred to as “The Old City”. In this area some of the more traditional Chinese locals live and they are the biggest offenders. There are no Salvatore Ferragamo stores, no Western Steakhouses and no “acceptable” clothing on the Chinese males. At best, you will get their 1960s style full length pajamas – think pajamas from the show Mad Men but more ridiculous. At worst, the men are only wearing boxer shorts. Now you might be thinking that these people might just be running to the corner store for some a quick trip to get some eggs or milk. You would be wrong. These people are destined to spend the rest of the day roaming the streets of Shanghai in their pajamas, bare-chested or in their underwear.
There are essentially three types of outfits that the Chinese males like to showcase in the summer time. The first is the 1960s pajama look. This outfit is typically a light colored full length sleeper suit. A low cut V-neck is complemented by a set of overly large buttons down the front. The matching pants are neatly pressed, but a little warn. It is only missing the nightcap, that I can only assume goes on when they are inside. However, this has been replaced by the “Sun Umbrella”. This outfit has typically already been worn in previous summers, so there are the inevitable sweat stains on it. This is the classiest of the Chinese summer wear. There is no nipple exposure and a relatively remote chance that anything else private will be exposed accidentally. Compared to the other outfits, these “gentlemen” look like they are wearing their Sunday best. This outfit is typically seen on the middle aged Chinese male.
The second outfit that the more elderly Chinese men prefer is the dress pants and no shirt look. On extremely hot days this outfit may include a nice pair of shorts instead of the slacks. This is probably the most disgusting of the outfits, but the one I understand the most. I get it. Your old and you don’t give a damn anymore. It is hot and you aren’t wearing a shirt. It doesn’t matter that you have breasts, are overweight and are in the streets of a very large city. You have a Mahjong game to play with your buddies and you need to be as comfortable as possible. It is tough to concentrate on kongs, pungs and chows when you are sweating out a shirt. It is still gross and I still give them a dirty look when they make eye contact. Seriously man, at least wear a bra! You are scaring the Westerner’s children.
The last outfit was just introduced by the young Chinese males this past weekend. While we were coming out of the bar after watching Holland shock Brazil, we stumbled across a group of five Chinese young adults wearing nothing but their boxer shorts. Mind you it was 38 degrees Celsius (100 Fahrenheit) with 90% humidity. But still, boxers only? The buddy I was with commented, “Damn, I remember my shirt and shorts tonight”. The crew spoke English better than we had suspected, but chose not to pursue the comment since they were only wearing underwear. Since this occurrence I have seen at least three other groups of young males hanging out with only their boxer shorts on. Some are walking the streets, others are huddled around card table gambling, and some are sleeping in their fruit stands. It is bizarre, but goes completely unnoticed by any other locals.
There are a group of males that don’t think the pajama/boxers/topless look is acceptable. Instead, they implement the “Chinese Air-conditioning”. Apparently, I didn’t realize that if you are super hot and it is super humid out, all you have to do is roll up your shirt and neatly tuck it under your breasts to expose your midriff. This way your belly can breathe freely and you won’t get hot. Or at least that is the only rationale that I can think of as to why the males that aren’t dressed inappropriately have decided to walk around with their guts sticking out. I know what you are thinking – Chinese people are skinny so it can’t be that bad. Again, you would be wrong. I read an article today that said 10% (or 300,000,000) of the obese people in the world are Chinese. THREE HUNDRED MILLION! I have to assume at least 80% of the remaining obese people are American, but at least they wear shirts – usually. I am not sure which is worse: wearing pajamas all day, wearing dress pants with no shirts, wearing just boxers, or rolling up your shirt to your nipples. Thoughts?
The most amazing part to me is how nicely the women in Shanghai dress in comparison with their male counterparts. Every one of them is wearing either a nice dress, a skirt and a blouse, trendy shorts or something similar. They seem un-phased by the inappropriately dressed males that accompany them. There are no disparaging glances, smacks to the back of the heads, or any indication that the men’s attire is unacceptable. How can one gender be so well put together and the other so ambivalent to the way they are perceived?
Unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures to share of this phenomenon. So you will have to take my word for it – for now. Maybe I will take the camera out one day this weekend and try and snap a few pictures of the insanity that is summer attire in Shanghai.
Note – for sake of this article I am going to use RMB, or Chinese Yuan, to quote prices. The exchange rate is approximately 6.825 RMB to 1 USD. As you will see below, doing the conversion is not necessary, and is actually ill-advised during the negotiation process. This will certainly lead you to pay too much as you justify that it's only $20, when in fact you should be paying $10).
Everything in China is negotiable….and I love it. Well, not everything, but most things. For example, our fully furnished apartment was listed for about 2,000 RMB a month more than we ended up paying for it. We were also able to get the following thrown in during the negotiation process:
1.Ayi service twice a week (basically like a maid)
2.Two-year membership to Will's Gym (similar to a LifeTime Fitness)
3.Free internet and satellite cable (although it sucks)
4.300 RMB a month allowance to use on utilities
5.Waiver of building management fees
6.A water dispenser, a water purifier, an oven, a sofa bed, and linens for the beds.
Even my local colleagues said we got a pretty good deal. Usually that is followed by "for a westerner". In this case it wasn't.
We certainly would not qualify as expert negotiators, nor do I think we are always getting the local's price for goods. However, when it comes down to the last 5 RMB, you have to make a decision on whether it is worth your time and effort anymore. On more than one occasion, my wife has been told "you very tough customer" or ”you no live in Shanghai one month – you too good". A Chinese friend of mine has told me that this is the ultimate sign of respect. I tend to agree. The Chinese love to negotiate and respect those that demonstrate some skills in the art. The first key to being a good negotiator is being certain of what you plan to buy. Window shopping at these markets is very difficult and annoying. Any indication that you may be remotely interested in something they have to offer will result in you being harassed by people from that stand and every other stand in the area. Thus, you have to know what you want, what you are willing to pay for it, and how many different locations will carry the desired item. All three of these factors will determine the price you will ultimately pay. If you are not firm on any of them, then you will likely walk away feeling like you just got robbed… because you did.
Here is a brief overview of how the negotiations at the markets go. Let us pretend, for sake of the discussion, that we are going to buy a handbag. Not a cheap, 20 RMB hand bag. But a good quality, labels stitched on, leather hand bag.
1.Size up the competition. First are foremost, the first store you pass is probably not the place you will end up making your purchase. This is because you need to determine how many places are competing for your business. The retailers already know this. Unless you take a spin through the market, then you will have no idea. If you are looking to buy golf equipment and there is only one store, then you are kind of stuck. If you are looking to purchase a bag and there are 100 bag stores, then it is game on.
2.Determining their bottom line is essential. Regardless of what the retailers tell you, they will not sell their product at a loss. I have not figured out how they can keep track of the prices of 200 different bags, but they can. It is fascinating to me. The best strategy to determining the bottom line is going into a place that you have no intention of buying their goods. This retailer is your test market and you will only offer a ridiculously low price for the bag you are trying to buy. The key is to stick to that very low price and determine how closely they are willing to come to it. For example, they may ask for 1200 RMB. You should counter with something in the neighborhood of 50 RMB. You certainly aren't going to accept their price and they won't accept yours. But, now they realize that you are actually going to negotiate. For this first retailer though, you aren't really negotiating in good faith. They are just the retailer that you are determining what you should pay for the bag. Stick to the 50 RMB throughout the process no matter what. They will make multiple offers, usually with the assistance of a calculator, and will ultimately come down to somewhere in the neighborhood of 10% of their original price quote. For sake of argument, let's assume that price is 150 RMB. You simply ask them "best price"? They indicated that it is. And you find out if that is true by thanking them and starting to leave. If they let you go, then you know it was their best price. If they shout out lower prices, then you know they would still be willing to go lower. Store this little nugget of information in the back of your head.
3.Building long term relationships is very important. Now that you know the rough price that the retailers are willing to accept, it is time to start the real negotiation process. Much like any good business in the States, building strong relationships with customers for local Shanghai retailers is essential. They all have business cards that describe the products they sell with their "name" one them. Their name is usually something like "Penny" or "Pearl" or "Starlet" or "Jewel". I am pretty sure if I could read Chinese, then the other side of the card would say something entirely different. Either way, they want you to know who they are and they will remember you. Especially if you paid too much. They will always ask you to bring your friends and spread the word about their shops. We already have a "golf equipment guy", a "DVD lady", a "bag lady", a "tie girl", an "electronics guy", and "Jason the Tailor". This is our network of people that we do business with. These people are spread throughout numerous markets in greater Shanghai. Once we determine the price for what we are looking for, we find our go to person and the negotiations begin. So, in our bag case, we go to "The Bag Lady", or as her card says, "Junny – AAA in market best quality bag shop".
4.Have a price in mind. For our example, we asked the previous retailer for 50 RMB. We negotiated down to 150 RMB and before we started walking away. Let us assume that they called out 140 RMB as we did this. Thus, we know there is room to go at least a little lower. My price point is 100 RMB for this deal. Not a single Yuan more.
5.Work the relationship angle. So, when Junny greets us at her shop front we exchange some pleasantries. She recognizes us because we have been here before and brought friends on other occasions. The relationship has been established. On the bag of Junny's card we have our notes from the last transaction. Simply put: "Good bag = 130 RMB". After exchange pleasantries – mind you my Chinese is terrible, and her English is limited to her ability to sell her products – we get down to business. I describe what I am looking for. She says "I have, I have" and escorts me through a wall that looked just like any other part of her shop two seconds ago. She doesn't stop there. A quick knock and a push on another wall and we are in the 3rd stage of "quality". This is my sweet spot. I am not in the market for the really nice stuff in the next room. I just want to get a nice bag, which is well made for my wife. So I check the goods. It looks similar (if not better) than the first place. In reality they all probably come from the same back room. But I am convinced it is nicer! I ask how much. She knows I don't fool around, so I don't get the ridiculous 1200 RMB price the first place quoted. I get the more realistic price of 600 RMB.
6.Use a little Chinese. "Tai Gui Le!" is my immediate response to her quote of 600 RMB. This would have been my response no matter what she said. It means "too expensive". It is one of about eight phrases I know in Chinese. Junny knows the game so she asks me my price. I decline. I ask her for her "best price" instead. "Ok, Ok" and she types 300 RMB into the calculator. That is a price I can start negotiating from. I counter with my standard 50 RMB. It is my "go to" number in any instance when I expect to pay 100 RMB or more. 20 RMB is my "go to" number for anything that I expect to pay less than 100 RMB for. I don't have the nerve to make it 10 RMB….yet. Junny looks at me like I offended her. "50 RMB to low, I need more". Don't we all. I tell her, "50 RMB all my Tai Tai let me spend." I am not sure why I do this, but I feel like if I speak terrible English, then these people will understand better. It is idiotic, but I can't help myself. And it seems to work. She laughs at this. She says, "OK, OK" and types in 200 RMB. Not exactly what I was expecting. She is playing hard ball today. I got to my nest best trick, the good old "She said". This is where you quote another stores price. In my instance, I have done my homework, so I have a real price. This is not necessary though. There are so many stores and you are in a back room with a stranger that as long as your price isn't below their "cost", then they will believe you. Thus, I tell her (again in terrible English), "upstairs price was 140 RMB, I go back if you no beat". This gets a very stern look. She isn't giving in that easy. She says (and they always say), "Special day, today only, for you my friend 150 RMB". See, I told you we were friends! I ask to see the merchandise again. I pick out a flaw and show it to her. Now let's be honest. I couldn't tell you the difference between any two designer bags, but she knows it isn't real either, so she doesn't argue. You can really pick out any "flaw". Maybe the stitching is a bit different or the label isn't quite right or the strap is supposed to be longer. This tactic results in the price I was expecting her to come up with, the 140 RMB that my test market yelled out as I walked away.
7.Don't show your hand too soon. Notice that I have not changed my original price in this whole exchange. This is an important point. As soon as you start moving up, then they realize this is something you really want. There is no going back once you move off your original price. I finally offer my second price, 75 RMB (I am fully expecting to pay 100 RMB). She tells me again that she cannot do and tells me "a little more". I don't think she will sell this bag to me for 75 RMB. If I did, then I would pull the last trick right now. Instead, I ask her for her "last price". She doesn't want to come off 140 RMB, but she can tell I am not paying that price. She thinks for a minute and says, "OK, OK, 120 RMB, last price". This is when….
8.You always pull the walk away. Under no circumstance should you ever skip this step. It is critical. As soon as she gives me her "last price". I say, very politely, "no thank you" and start to leave. My arm is immediately grabbed to keep me from leaving. I pull away gently and tell her that I cannot do 120 RMB. She begs and pleads a little and I tell her no. As I am about to leave the last of the secret rooms, she pulls on my arm a little harder and says. "100 RMB, only today". I have found my price, and I am willing to pay it. I pretend like it is a hard decision, agonize over it a bit, and end up asking her "a little cheaper". She says she cannot. I am tired of this charade at this point, so I say "Ok, but don't tell my wife. It is a special gift." We settle up on the 100 RMB. She tells me to tell my friends, but not to tell them the price. For those keeping score at home. The original price for the bag was quoted at $175 USD. I paid $14.65. And I probably got ripped off.
I thank Junny for the bag. Tell her my wife will love it. And update Junny's card to say "willing to take 100 RMB". We will see just how far down I can get her from the "Just Joking Price" next time.
Of course, it isn’t advisable for beginners to start off their martial arts career hitting bricks – unless they wish to find themselves stuck in hospital being fed by a stentorian nurse with hips that could straddle the Yangtze. At XuLin, safety is of the highest importance, which is why everyone learns the basics of safe practice before going all “Jackie Chan” on hostile park benches. Sample the delights of increased strength and flexibility over four classes to decide whether Taekwondo is the right kick-arse technique for you. 
A Korean martial art, Taekwondo translates (very loosely) as a method for breaking people or things using a flurry of fists and feet. Balance and agility are key aspects of perfecting this style of fighting, providing a rounded sporting activity to develop a variety of core fitness areas. 
Taekwondo takes a lot of energy and is a very cool way to exercise the muscles. I started with basic training and the coach is very good and teaches the actions very professionally.
