Float Trip or Bus Trip: You decide.

We recently had the opportunity to join in on a float trip in Chang Hua, China. We have had some good times floating down the Au Sable River in Michigan so we were definitely excited for the prospects of the weekend. Our journey began at Bubba's Texas BBQ, a place that always has the best barbeque in China. It was our understanding that our bus trip would begin at 9AM and take roughly 3 hours to get to the hotel. We would then check in and head to the river for an afternoon of rafting followed by barbeque dinner at a local park. Since this was the 3rd annual float trip, we figured we were in good hands. Only after we signed up we learned that they were testing out a new location since this group had already established a reputation at the last location. How bad could it be…

… well, lets just say that we started off on the wrong foot and never really got back on track. The day started with the bus leaving about 45 minutes behind schedule as people decided that the start time was a suggestion. When we got on the bus the entire bus started drinking beers like we would never have a chance to consume another beverage. This was mistake #1 as the bus had no bathrooms and fit about 50 people. Needless to say, stopping was a frequent occurrence on the bus ride out. The bus also lacked garbage cans, and although this was the 3^rd float trip, the organizers didn’t think that bringing garbage bags was important. Thus, after about an hour the aisle of the bus was littered with empty beer cans and cigarettes. As the quantity of beers accumulated on the floor so did the need for people to empty their bladders. The first stop occurred about an hour into the trip at a decent little rest stop off of the highway. Everyone used what I would describe as four star bathrooms (more on that in another post) and got back on the bus to continue the drinking. Little did we know this would be the first of many stops and the driver was instructed to stop pretty much every 45 minutes. If a rest stop was not available we simply just stopped on the freeway. Around four stops and 4.5 hours later we finally make it to our hotel. Thus, it was now about 2 pm and everyone was well lubricated and ready to check in.

The hotel looked somewhat promising at first . . . the lobby looked nice and we were told it was a three star hotel. In my estimation they received one star for having a door with a lock, a second store for having electricity and a third star for providing a free bowl of porridge for breakfast. The place was much more of a dive than anything I have ever stayed in. Two twin unmade beds, an old school tv and a bathtub that looked like it may fall apart at any moment were our digs for the next 24 hours. Not a big deal since we were only using it to sleep. After 30 minutes of putzing around, we final loaded up the bus again and headed out to the river. Twenty minutes later we were getting off the bus and loading up the rafts.

The first 100 meters of the float trip went great. We loaded up the coolers and tied about three rafts together and started floating. About 100 meters down we realized that this river had some small rapids along the route. The first of which had a rather large rock in the middle of it. Since our rafts were going to crash into it, I got out and steered us clear. Realizing that we were the first ones floating down the river, every other raft was likely to have to navigate this obstacle as well. Thus, I stayed on the rock and steered others clear the rock as well. That was mistake #1. The last raft came crashing into me throwing my sunglasses into the river. After a feeble attempt to retrieve them, I realized that I had missed the last raft and would have to swim down the river to try and catch up. Unfortunately the river was about 1.5 feet deep and my knees and ankles were getting torn up. As I reached the last set of four rafts, the floaters asked if I would help them tie-up. Since I was already in the water I didn’t mind. They threw me the rope and I begin stringing the rafts together. As I was just about to tie the final knot, the group hit another set of rapids. With no warning from the people on the rafts I ended up taking a rather large rock off the shins. At that point I lost the rope momentarily as I was trying to avoid further injury. At the tail end of the rapids I made a diving attempt for the rope to save the swim to catch up. Just barely making it I thought I was fortunate, until I realized that my left hand felt a bit different. During my attempt to hold onto the rope over the rapids I ended up losing my wedding ring. Thus, we are about 20 minutes into the float and I am bleeding from both knees, I have a large bruise on my shin and I am out a pair of sunglasses and a wedding ring.

One would think that I would have learnt my lesson and just crawled back in the boat and drowned my sorrows. I must not have that much common sense because as we approached the next set of rapids I saw a middle aged guy from our group with his Chinese girlfriend stuck on the side of the river with a boat full of water. This dude wasn’t exactly in peak physical condition and his girlfriend didn’t look to interested in getting wet, let alone helping empty the boat. So, stupidly, I dove back in and swam over to help them out. At this point the Chinese girl had managed to make it to the bank with most of their gear. The guy was holding on to a completely filled raft with one hand while holding onto some rocks with the other. After about three attempts of flipping the boat we finally made it. But when we did we also let go of it. The boat ended up floating down the river about 100 meters with no one in it and me swimming after it. Luckily it got caught on a tree and I was able to catch up to it. I didn’t lose anything during this adventure, other than the remainder of my buzz.

The floating ended pretty abruptly. We did decide to ignore the people waving us over to drop our rafts off as none of us believed it was already the end. This resulted in 50 people downriver of the end point so the Chinese boats around us spent the next hour trying to figure out how to tow our two separate tied together groups back to shore. None of us were really interested in helping since we wanted to stay on the river. We could have easily swum the 100 yards to shore. We ended up breaking three tug boats that weren’t meant to pull 25 people backwards at one time. At least we got to extend out float another hour. Even with the catastrophes that occurred on the river, and the hour of sitting down river, we were done within two and a half hours. So we spent 45 minutes at Bubba’s waiting for people that were late, 4.5 hours in a bus stopping every 45 minutes to pee, 30 minutes at a dump of a hotel, 20 more minutes finding the rafting place, 1.5 hours floating on the river and 1 hour wadding downstream from the stopping point. Not exactly a good use of time.

After the float, we ended up in a small “park” next to the river. The park must have been full, since they made us set up shop on a rocky landing where the dragon boats disembarked. They also were kind enough to provide three mini-charcoal grills that we were supposed to use to cook dinner for 40 people. I was starving after my adventure on the river and decided that buying some bbq from the locals for 5 or 10 kuai each was a better bet. The food was actually quite good and immediately available. The food we were grilling on the other hand wasn’t ready until the sun went down. At that point the natives were restless and hungry. We did manage to get a couple of chicken wings and a burger without a bun from the deal. At this point we ran out of beer, so it was time to head back to the hotel. Or so we thought…

Now if you recall, it only took us 20 minutes to get to the river from the hotel. Since we drove up stream to get to the place we launched and only floated for 2 hours, we had to be close to the hotel. In actuality we were only about 5 miles away. Somehow those five miles took over an hour and a half to drive. We made a wrong turn immediately after leaving the “park” and headed up a one way winding road. After about 20 minutes of driving it was pretty apparent that we were lost. We stopped and asked a few locals where we were, but the first few groups had no idea. We finally reached a point where the bus couldn’t get through. A local Chinese guy that spoke zero English pulled up next to us with a confused look on his face. The tour bus driver finally figured out that we had gone exactly the wrong way about 20 minutes ago. So we spent the next 10 minutes trying to turnaround a 50 person bus on a one way street. We then spent the next 20 minutes driving back to where we started and 5 minutes to the hotel.

At this point it was about 9 pm. Somehow we were all still hungry and didn’t have enough to drink. So we set up shop at a small restraint with tables on the street across the hotel. Bubba’s girlfriend is a local Chinese girl as well. Thus, she was in charge of ordering from a menu that the rest of us couldn’t read. We knew we were going to be eating fish since that was all that the place served. What we didn’t realize is that the owner of the restaurant would take about a 25 lb fish out of the tank, take it to the sidewalk and spike it as hard as he could. The fish bounced twice, gave two final flicks of its tail, and then went to fish heaven. It was delicious.

After devouring about 8 different dishes made from the fish that was just the victim of a cruel endzone celebration, a few people were looking for a bar to head to. I was looking for a place to pass out. So we headed back to our room and spent the next 8 hours sharing our bedroom with eight legged creatures and a small lizard.

The next morning everyone arrived in the lobby about 30 minutes after the agreed upon time. Some crazy people bought a number of beers from the local shops and started drinking early. The bus ride home had just as many pee stops and a special stop that took 45 minutes. Apparently about 15 of the people on the bus couldn’t wait the final hour and decided that they would eat KFC at the rest stop while the rest of us waited for them on the bus. If it was up to me they would still be at the rest stop, but the organizers waited for the crew. This put us even further behind schedule. By the time we made it back to Bubba’s it was after 3 pm and everyone was starving. We did order Bubba’s pulled pork sandwiches and a burger. Both of with were delicious. It was probably the only saving grace to an otherwise ridiculous experience. I have learned in the first 6 months of being in Shanghai that “everything is a little harder in China”. However, nothing should ever be that hard or that frustrating. Next year I will plan my own float trip. It will be in the pool at my apartment.