Head, shoulders, knees and toes...

Recently my work decided that they wanted to have a healthier workforce. Apparently working 14 hour days, 6 days a week wasn’t conducive to living a healthy lifestyle. Healthcare consultants would probably have a number of suggestions for rectifying this issue. The tax team decided to skip the expensive advice and implement their own idea. Each day at 3 pm the staff line up and do a version of Mousercise. The closest thing that I can relate it to is the children’s song “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”. What they do isn’t quite enough to break a sweat, so I am not sure I can call it exercise. It isn’t really stretching either. It is more like an organized game of “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes”. Except that it is being played by very qualified adults…in the middle of the day…at work.

The worst part of this whole charade is that I can assure you that none of the people involved are interested in doing this. The “leader” most likely was told by someone else that he needed to do this. The people that are following the leader feel obligated to as a respect for their superiors. Regardless of the motives, the outcome is hilarious.

Organized “exercise” isn’t limited to the office. Each morning, afternoon, and night there are hundreds of thousands of women gathering throughout the city to exercise. These exercises take many forms. Many of them do tai chi. Others enjoy traditional Chinese dance. But my favorites are the ones wearing matching “Sports Authority” shirts and line dancing to Toby Keith. First of all, where did they find 40 Sports Authority employee shirts? Do they send those to Shanghai when a store closes like they send the Superbowl losing teams “Champions” jerseys to Africa? Secondly, where did they get a Toby Keith CD? Do you think they understand anything he is talking about?

Same, same, but different

Some things in China are exactly the same as the US. Some things are different. Others appear to be the same, but are actually very different.

Things that are the same:

Keeping up with the Joneses – Everyone in China is always comparing themselves to the neighbors. How much do you make? Where do you live? What do you do for fun? Where do you eat dinner? What brands of clothing do you where? What kind of car do you drive? These questions are all asked/thought/discussed on a regular basis. Just like America.

Vanity – I am pretty sure this is the same anywhere on the globe. The only difference is the manner in which an "acceptable appearance" is achieved. While many American's will grind out an hour a day on a treadmill, most Chinese would prefer to only eat once a day for a month. I don't consider that a difference though. Just a different means to an end.

Opinions – "Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks." I think that pretty well sums it up. You might think Chinese people are not allowed to have opinions because of the limited free speech in China. You would be wrong. They all have strong opinions. They just have to share them with you in print.

Things that appear the same, but are very different:

Superstitions – American's have some stupid superstitions. So do the Chinese. The difference is that most Chinese structure their lives around their superstitions. Most often because someone told their forefathers a long time ago that it was what you had to do. For example, women don't get out of bed or wash their hair for 40 days after child birth. Apparently this is to make sure their bodies fully recover from childbirth. No one can explain why they don't wash their hair. Gross.

Capitalism – The Chinese will tell you that they have a capitalistic society. I agree with them, to an extent. I also think that they are much more "capitalistic" in many ways. For example, they don't really believe in intellectual property rights. In free-market capitalism supply and demand reach a point of equilibrium naturally. Thus, trademarks and IP (which are government mechanisms for altering the natural point of equilibrium) aren't really a concept that fits. The Chinese agree and the "stuff that fell off the truck" that I can buy for a fraction of the price of the retail stores are a great example.

Elevators – An elevator is an elevator, right? Well, not in China. They have programmed these things to be death traps. You will never see a Chinese person stick their hand between doors that are closing for fear of losing their hand. You won't see me do it anymore either.

Alcohol – This should serve a warning to anyone travelling to China. Just because the bottle says it is a 30-year-old Macallan, doesn't mean it is. The Chinese have no problem refilling bottles of good liquor with something they cooked up in the basement. Rule of thumb: if it is too good to be true, then it probably isn't true. This isn't limited to liquor. Rumors abound of resold high-end wine and even bottled beer.

Pets – American's love their pets. Chinese love their pets. Same, right? Not exactly. Most American's treat their pets pretty well. The live indoors, get fed well, sleep on comfortable beds, get walks, etc. In China, pets are treated like accessories. Not like the stupid little toy dogs that idiotic women put in purses and carry to the mall or on a plane. Chinese people dye their dogs to look like other things. Pandas: check. Tigers: Check. Circus Clowns: Check. Turtles: Check. Olympic Rings: Check. Google Image search "dyed dogs" for a full image listing. I haven't seen a Tiger or a Turtle on the streets yet, but I have seen a Panda and a circus clown. Ridiculous. Strangely enough, "pets" also include street dogs that people take care of. These dogs sleep on the streets, but come to their "owners" to get fed and washed. The Chinese consider them "their dogs". Although, I am pretty sure if I was a dog I would rather live on the streets, get feed well and get an occasional bath than have someone color my coat like a circus clown.

Refer to every other blog post for other examples of things that are different. This list is much too long and not the point of this post.

We're off to see the Wizard...

I have experienced a lot of “firsts” in China. But none compare to experience we had in Kunming, China over the Tomb Sweeping holiday. During a five day trip to the Yunnan province, we had a day to kill while transferring through Kunming. Besides playing a round at the five star golf resort, there is not much to do in Kunming – or so we thought. While sharing a few pints with the Dutch owner of the only western bar in LiJiang, we caught wind of a place called “Dwarf Village”. To our bewilderment, we were told that this is a magical place where little people live in mushroom houses and put on a variety show twice a day. When I first heard about this place, I thought it was a little bit wrong to exploit little people. However, I figured it was unlikely that I would be passing through Kunming again, so I might as well give it a try.

Getting this place was a bit of a challenge. First of all, the place isn’t advertised on any travel web site or any pamphlets at the airport. Good thing Katie’s Chinese is coming along well enough to communicate with the guy at the tourism desk. She was able to secure us a tour guide for the day and a private trip out to the Butterfly Museum. Apparently the organizers of “Dwarf Empire” got some flack from the international media when they opened the place for exploiting little people. Thus, they don’t really advertise this place anymore. Instead, they have built a decrepit butterfly museum as a guise to cover the real attraction – a real life Smurf village. In any case, the guy at the tourism desk and the driver thought it was hilarious that three Americans traveling through Kunming wanted to go see the Dwarf Empire.

Checking our dignity at the airport, we got in the private car and headed for the Dwarf Empire. About 45 minutes later, we arrived to one of the most surreal places in the world. The “empire” is about 30 little mushroom houses that Chinese dwarfs live in between their twice-daily performances. This performance is a strange compilation of singing, dancing, acrobatics, circus stunts and mini motorcycles rides. The dwarfs that live in the empire truly seem happy to be performers. The ones without the talent to perform have jobs working the gift shops and concession stands. Thus, I think I changed my mind about whether the little people living in the empire are being exploited. I actually think that it might be a good thing for these people. They are giving the opportunity to make a decent living and perform for spectators. China can be a cruel and harsh place for people that are different. I can only imagine the ridicule that these people must have lived with prior to coming to live in the empire. The polite applause that the crowd offered and the smiles that it put on the faces of the performers leads me to believe that these people are happy living here and don’t feel as though they are being exploited.

Regardless of whether you think they are being exploited or not, it is certainly worth the trip if you have a couple of hours to kill in Kunming. If you do stop by, say hi to The Emperor for me. If you make it there with your wife or girl friend, then he is likely to tell you repeatedly that she is “hěn piàoliang”. At least that is what he kept telling Katie.

Our first year in Shanghai

March 30, 2011 will mark our one year anniversary living in Shanghai. Thus, I thought it was appropié to write a mega-blog recapping our first year. I really can't believe we have been here for a year already. I also can't believe how many great experiences we have had in that short period of time. We are really looking forward to having a great second year as a number of our friends and relatives a scheduled to come visit. There is always a spare bedroom (or two) if you are interested.

April 2010 – I am not sure how we got through the "deer in headlights" stage without more damage being done. Katie found an amazing apartment overlooking the Nanpu Bridge and one of the few remaining "historic" parts of Shanghai. The place is less than 2 km from work, so I can either walk, take the bus, or ride my "monkey bike" (as it was named by a Chinese colleague of mine) to work each day.

In our first month we also got introduced to the Shanghai Softball League (www.softballshanghai.com). This league is a great group of guys (and a few girls), that enjoy spending Sunday's playing ball, drinking beer and being outside of the congested city. Through this group we also got introduced to Hammer's Wednesday night bowling league and a group that play dodge ball ever Thursday. Through these different leisure activities we have meet a great group of like minded individuals from all over the globe.

May 2010 – We were fortunate enough to be able to take our first trip in May. We visited the Chinese resort island of Hainan, where we stayed at the Hilton in Sanya. The Chinese claim it is the "Hawaii of China". Funny thing about most Chinese people is that they have never been outside of China, so they have no idea if it is more like Alaska, Hawaii, South Africa or Detroit. For once, the Chinese got decent information and I can attest that it is similar. I wouldn't have recommended J.J. Abrams use Sanya instead of Hawaii for the filming of Lost, but there are enough similarities in the scenery to at least say it "resembles" it.

May also was the month we began our Chinese language classes. We were very lucky and got a very nice Chinese teacher named "Rita". She is extremely patient with us and doesn't mind teaching us the same things again and again. I am still terrible at Chinese. Katie is quick to tell you that she is much better. Nothing could be more true. Fast forward to March 20, 2010 and we are sitting in a Chinese restaurant at Rita's wedding. We were one of about 10 westerners in the entire place and certainly the only Americans. Although I understood about 10% of the ceremony and festivities, it seemed as though they were not all that different than the US. There was plenty of food, booze and merriment to go around. The bride looked super nervous and host/DJ was super cheesy – even for Chinese standards.

June 2010 – The Chinese love holiday's and we love them for it. We got to spend our 2^nd holiday in China (Dragon Boat Festival) in a place I had never heard of being setting foot in China. The place is collectively called "Guilin" and, for us, consisted of our trip to Yangshuo, Longji, the Li river cruise, and the city of Guilin. We wrote a separate blog post about this, so I won't go into details. It was such an amazing place that Katie is planning on taking her brother and sister-in-law back there when they visit in May 2011.

Summer 2010 – The Summer's in Shanghai are brutal. 95 degrees with 90% humidity are not uncommon. Unlike most places, when it rains it doesn't cool anything off. It is more like adding water to the stones in a sauna. Miserable, to say the least, if you wearing anything more than a towel.

Katie had only been in Shanghai for a couple of weeks and she was already making her first trip home. I played for the Wingmen in a "Free Beer" Softball Tournament. This ended up just being a ploy to get the western team drunk so the Taiwanese team had a chance. It worked as we lost in the finals to a team that we had beaten earlier in the tournament. We also snuck in a quick visit to Macau and HK during a work trip that I had to take. Those are both nice places, but frankly lack the character and intrigue of Shanghai. I am glad I got to see them, but wouldn't go out of my way to go back.

September 2010 – September has another Chinese holiday (Mooncake Festival), so we got another chance to explore the region. This time we ventured outside of China to Vietnam. Talk about a change of pace. Katie and I joke the Hanoi is like what our friends think Shanghai is like. Personally, I think Shanghai is much more like New York City than it is most other large cities in Asia. Hanoi on the other hand, is exactly what you think it is like, only way better. The old city area has a ton of culture and very interesting city walks. The place is dirt cheap. You could get dropped off there with the monthly allowance of an American second grader and stay there for a week (with money left over). The people a very friendly and there are lots of very unique pieces of art. We picked up a pair of propaganda posters from the Vietnam War (called the "American War" by the locals). Fascinating things that depicted the opinion of the locals on the "occupation" by the Americans. Certainly not the way I remember learning about the war, but from being there, I have a feeling that both versions have a bit or truth, a bit of revisionists' history, and a whole lot of government spin. Our trip to Vietnam also included two nights on a Junk Boat in Ha Long bay. For as dirty, noisy and interesting Hanoi is. Ha Long bay is equally serene, quiet and picturesque. In our two days here we explored caves, kayaked through a national forest, and enjoyed a little peace and quiet.

October 2010 – Our first visitors arrived in the form of my brother's and Katie's dad. Katie's dad's experience was less than ideal as he came down with a nasty case of pneumonia. Blaming, probably rightfully so, on the coughing Chinese people on his flight over and didn't feel like covering their mouth or using a tissue was necessary. Nick and Patrick had a bit better of a time. Nick took a late night tour of my parents 8 apartment complexes after spending the evening with Katie and our friends at a US Pavilion Expo staff party. Patrick increase the number of professional jerseys he has to somewhere around 100. The whole group also took a tour to Beijing and Xi'an. Beijing is a place that everyone who I talk to says that they feel like they have to see if they come to China. For me, it is the one place in China that I have been that I have zero interest in going back to. The place is packed, the traffic is ridiculous, the air is disgusting, and there are only so many "palaces" that you can go to before you get a headache. I get it. China is an old place. The color red and yellow are significant. People weren't allowed into place until recently. Drive to the next place, rinse, repeat. Beijing does make a pretty mean roast duck and the Great Wall is worth seeing. Xi'an on the other hand, is worth the trip. 1, 2 days max, is definitely all you need. But seeing the terracotta warriors in all their glory is a worthwhile experience.

In October we also got introduced to a number of new friends. It seems like people in Shanghai are either coming or going (with a few "lifers" as exceptions). We were about to say goodbye to a couple that was heading back to Michigan, when a friend introduced us to another couple that lived in our same complex. Katie and Barb became quick friends after their first "play date" (as Mark and I called it). We also got to know Adam, Heather and Sunil a bit better and started hanging out with them on a regular basis. Katie has placed self-imposed restrictions on hanging out with Heather and Sunil unsupervised as she tends to end up with a headache the next morning. I'll leave it at that.

November 2010 – This was by far the quietest month for me. All I did was run a 10k (separate blog describes that process), make another trip to HK for work, and share Thanksgiving in Shanghai with friends and family. Thanksgiving wasn't so different than it was in the US. My dad and Katie prepared most of the food (and it was delicious), we all ate way too much, we sat around telling stories that we had heard before but still enjoy, and the Lions disappointed.

December 2010 – For as uneventful as November was, December was equally jam packed. I started the month by running my first (and maybe last) half marathon. At the end I was generally pleased with my time and the experience of running in China was a treat. The worst part was definitely the fact that I had an overnight flight from Shanghai to Delhi, India that same night. I am certain that I was going to be sore regardless of where I slept that night. I can't imagine that sleeping on a plane helped. The next three days I spent in Delhi, Pune and Mumbai India for business. The food in India is amazing. The people are extremely friendly. Everything else….eh…not for me. I hope India isn't on Katie's "to do" list, because it is already off of mine. At the end of December we decided to meet my brothers half-way between Shanghai and Detroit. Where is that? Well, if you take a direct flight that would technically be Alaska. Since December in Alaska didn't sound all that enticing. We fudged the math a little bit and decided on Hawaii. I won't bore you with the details, but it was a great two weeks with family and a great break from the China. So I guess I have been back to the US since arriving in China, but it was not very close to home.

January 2010 – I don't really remember most of January. I know it was cold. I know I worked a lot – although that is to be expected when you are in the accounting industry. And I know I didn't do a whole lot. Katie was very productive though. She picked up a dog from the street, domesticated it, and found it a forever home. Not bad for a couple weeks work.

February 2010 – February was a bit of bear work wise as well. The China offices were closed for a week in February for Chinese New Year. So we decided that I could either work from home or work from the beach. Katie picked the beach, so we got on a plane for the Maldives. The Iru Fushi Hilton is probably one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. The resort was just a speck in the middle of the Indian Ocean occupying the entire 2 km island that it was located on. The ocean was crystal clear. The snorkeling was really good. The food was also top notch. It is probably not a place that I will be back to due to its proximity to the rest of civilization and the cost. However, I am very grateful that I got to check it off of the bucket list.

Katie somehow squeezed another trip to Detroit in during February as well. I think at least 25 people asked me while she was gone: "Why is she going to Detroit in February? I thought everyone avoided Detroit in February". My response was "most logical people don't plan trips to Detroit in February". The usual response was a brief look of confusion, a smile, then "I see your point".

March 2010 – Although not entirely over, we have already had a busy month. Katie found a job at a place run by an expat that indicates it is "right balance between play and school". Working 5 days a week with 2-4 year olds should be something that can keep her busy, provide some value and still allow her to get in her kettleball, chinese classes, yoga classes, massages, spa treatments, and lunch with the girls. Needless to say, I am ecstatic.

I also participated in my second Japanese house ball bowling tournament. With an all expat cast of characters we were able to improve on our 3^rd place finish in the fall and finished runner's up. Our reward was a 1000 RMB gift certificate to a restaurant group and a nice "crystal" trophy. I was going to use the trophy as a gag reward that is handed out for various reasons at our Wednesday bowling league. However, Katie got one look at it and decided that we were keeping it. What she plans to do with it I have no idea.

March is a great time in Shanghai. The weather has switched over to spring. Softball started again (4-0 as of this posting). I have already played my first round of golf. And our string of visitors starts on March 21.

Year 2:

What year two will have in store is anybody's guess. A couple of things are for sure and many others are still TBD. Events in Shanghai typically get planned last minute, so it is tough to know what shenanigans will go on this year. Here is just a sample of what may lead to some good chicanery.

March 2011 – Randy arrives for a 10 day visit.

April 1 – 5, 2011 – We travel with Randy to Yunnan, China (see – the "real Shangri-la")

April 6 – 14, 2011 – Tomczyk and the Bigga Figga visit

May 11 – 18, 2011 – Katie's brother and sister-in-law visit

June 2011 – Dennis and Wendy visit?

July 2011 – Return to Detroit for Woj/Sinelli wedding

September 2011 – Return to Detroit for Petrosky/Madison wedding

October 2011 – Bali, Indonesia?

December 2011 – Fight in Brawl on the Bund (http://whitecollarboxingchina.com)?

Spring and fall are the best times to visit. We have plenty of room at our place. Katie is also an experienced tour guide at this point and loves showing people around. Just let us know if you are interested.

Street Meat

It was only a matter of time. As many of you know Jeff and I spent the year before we moved to Shanghai working with a dog rescue organization. Fostering dogs was a great learning experience that was both very rewarding but at times a little traumatic. When we moved to China my parents graciously offered to keep Doozer during our time here. It was hard to adjust to not having a happy wagging tail to greet us every time we came home.

Recently, on our way in to our apartment, this little guy was hanging around the front door. Our friends had seen him around with the security guard who was trying to give him to anyone that would take him. At that time he was hobbling around on three legs because he was kicked by a kid. With no one around to claim him and the temperatures dropping outside I decided to bring him in and feed him.

He was pretty nervous at first and I am not sure he had ever been inside a warm home. He spent the first couple hours keeping a 15 ft distance. As the time clicked by he grew more trusting and crept his way closer, inch by inch.

After a day or so he made himself right at home, including constantly trying to join us on the couch! I found out that our complex workers called him Dadu or “big belly” since he was always looking for a handout. It is quite possible that I stole someone’s pet since Dadu already knew how to shake paws, sit and was pretty much potty trained. He was quite popular around the complex as well. He happily greeted everyone he came across. I ran into his former caretaker who told me to keep him. He was just trying to help out this friendly little pup and just wanted him to have a good home.

The first night he was here I immediately felt some buyer’s remorse and was worried about what we were going to do with him. We definitely had no plans to get a dog and we travel frequently. Having one long term was not in the cards. I contacted Jaiya’s Animal Rescue who offered to help find temporary fosters during our vacation and they posted him online. There are not very many qualified vets and most people are not too knowledgeable about pet training. I was worried we would not be able to find Dadu a good home.

We decided to check out the adoption event ourselves when we returned home from the Maldives. Dadu had spent the week with an expat family with two little girls and he had done great. So I was hopeful he would find a good family. As we arrived at the event we were a little shocked. This was not the small organized rescue event we had become accustomed to. Over 50 people arrived with dogs on leashes, puppies in crates and a few random cats. Most of the dogs were little and appeared to be pretty young. We found out that this event was more of a ‘pet exchange’, volunteers looking after their rescued pups and some willing people looking for a new pet.

One family quickly was drawn to us. The fact that Jeff was wearing Tigers gear and that we were not Chinese probably helped. The Dad of the family was also from Detroit and was wearing a Tigers hat as well. Their little boy immediately took to Dadu. Within 20 minutes he was giving him walks around the place and asking how much we wanted for him. I was getting pretty hopeful since they did not get too distracted by the other puppies running around.

Flash forward a month and our little guy found his forever home. Dadu now Duncan has a big house with heated floors, a small backyard (not common in Shanghai!), and two kids to love him. I am so grateful that this family decided to take a chance on our little rescued pup!

Xin Nian Kuai Le!

Happy Chinese New Year! We were not really sure what to expect as we spent the first two days of the Spring Festival in Shanghai. For one of the biggest cities in the world the Shanghai streets were nearly empty on New Year's eve (Feb 2). Many country side people return home to spend time with family and the many expats take the week long holiday as a chance to escape the city. There is not much to do as everything is shut down for the most part. We decided to head to Jeff's parents to get a view of the city and see the chaos that we heard would erupt at midnight.

We didn't have to wait until midnight, as many people started the festivities just after dark. Firecrackers and fireworks rang out throughout the night. However, this wasn't a state-sponsored celebration. If there was, then it would have been a waste of money. The people of Shanghai put on a show that I am sure is matched if few places across the globe. Around 9 pm, we took a stroll through the streets of Pudong to get a ground level view of the experience. And what an experience it was. Almost as soon as we walked out of the front door we were treated with a fury of firecracker bangs and fountain style fireworks. From the looks of the debris covering the streets, it was near the end of this particular groups display. A quick turn around the corner and we were treated to another first. Two guys pulled over on a main street and got a box that was all red and the size of a dishwasher out of their trunk. They then lit the fuse and stepped back to watch 100 3 inch shells be blasted int the sky. These weren't your backyard fireworks. These were spree quality fireworks reaching 40 - 50 stories in the air and exploding into cloud size bursts of red and green fire. Another three of four microwave-sized boxes of fireworks later, we continued down the street to an impromptu firework stand that was selling fireworks to passersby. I stopped to inquire about the price of the washing machine sized box. I was blown away when they quoted me 1,300 RMB (about $200). We were only at the stand a couple of minutes before 1 of the 2 large fireworks were purchased and dragged away in a cab. Considering the price, we figured that the largest fireworks were probably priced out the average Chinese persons budget. Boy how we were wrong....

Around 11:30PM the people of Shanghai had all took to the street to begin the "real" celebration. Imagine a firework display on the 4th of July at your favorite lake, river or park. Now imagine that firework display occurred concurrently with every other city in the areas fireworks. But, instead of being 30 miles between cities there is about 300 yards between firing locations. Then, multiply your normal 20-30 minute display by 3 to account for the fact that the show lasted from about 11:30 PM to 12:45 AM. That is exactly what the Shanghai skyline looked like on Wednesday night. The video attached barely does the scene justice. From my parents 39th floor apartment overlooking the river, you could see skyscraper tall fireworks in every direction. Truly amazing and a must do for firework lovers out there.

This year begins the year of the rabbit and people born in this year don red undergarments to ward off evil spirits. Some people get rabbits for pets and I am not quite sure if they stay pets or end up as dinner one day (probably the latter)! The new year also brought some great weather into Shanghai. The sun has been shining and the temperature has started climbing into the 50's. The most impressive thing on our walk back to our place the next morning was that by 10am the city had already cleaned up most of the debris left behind from all the prior nights festivities.

Bowling for Turkey

When we moved to Shanghai I took a risk in allocating 40 lbs of our allotted 750lbs of air shipment by bringing our bowling gear. After a few months here our bag was still collecting dust in our storage room, and we still hadn’t seen the inside of the bowling alley. At home we got the chance to bowl in a monthly league and I spent the past year having weekly bowl offs for lunch against Patrick with the end result of usually me buying.

Things soon changed when we heard about a weekly Wednesday league that was organized by one of the softball guys, “The Hammer”. Hammer is easily the best bowler in our misfit group and a great host for the league. He supplies a few rounds of Tsingtaos and covers for those of us who sometimes leave without paying him for bowling. He also organizes a skins game for those who like to gamble. We were pretty confused at first about the idea of winning skins in bowling but the concept makes the league a lot more fun for those of us who like to play.

Since our bowling group changes week to week with anywhere from 10 to 30 people, the skins system lets everyone come and go as they please while still establishing an average for the season ending tournament. We usually play 3-4 games each time with the first game being a warm up game. The next two games you can opt in or out of the skins game. You can win skins a few ways. Any split converted, any turkey, and high 10^th frame all are automatic skins that will get you 5rmb per person for each skin. An untied high score each frame also wins a skin so there is plenty of rooting for/against other bowlers depending on the scenario. This skin creates a lot looks from other people bowling as our crowd gets pretty rowdy when only one strike is on the board. There is also a trash skin called the ‘CJ strike’ aptly named for one of the league member whose ability to throw a first ball gutter and still get a spare is legendary. Given that our best bowler has about a 180 average while the field averages around a 125, anyone can win money with this system.

This all culminated with a 16 man tournament to end the fall season. Timely corresponding with Thanksgiving, the big prize was a smoked turkey. The league is not short of big personalities, so the trash talking and wagers on who would win began a couple weeks in advance of the actual tournament. As the lone female in the tournament, I was letting everyone know that I was ‘dark horse’. I know my game is consistently inconsistent, thus I could either be an early exit or make a deep run into the finals. This was single elimination tournament so I was pretty nervous going in. However, my confidence rose quickly as I knocked out the defending champion by 60 pins in the first round. My next round was against the Hammer and I got a little lucky. The lanes were dry and he couldn’t find his mark and my 47 pin advantage was too much for him to overcome. Round three put me against my friend Adam, who had previously duped his girlfriend and I into a sucker bet the week before so I was out for blood. Karma was on my side as Adam bowled a sub par game and I won the match straight up without needing my 14 pin advantage.

I headed to the finals having to face Noah in a two game high total match. Noah was the biggest trash talker and most of the crowd was on my side. Unfortunately, I did not make the first match very interesting. I had a hard time following through and missed my mark just too many times, giving up my 30 pin advantage between two games. Winning straight up the next game was just too big of feat after four games behind me and my turkey dreams were soon crushed. I guess I’ll have to wait until next tourney for redemption.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Running in Shanghai

Before coming to Shanghai I wasn’t a big fan of endurance sports. I was much more likely to be seen burning calories on an ice rink or a soccer field than pounding the pavement. I attribute this partly to the fact that I grew up in the suburbs and was never too far from an ice rink and or park. Since moving to Shanghai though, the opportunity to play team sports diminished quite a bit. I still spend Sunday’s in the spring and fall playing a pretty competitive level of softball, but Monday through Saturday was leaving a pretty big void.

A couple of friends of mine have always encouraged me to start getting into endurance sports. They run 10k’s, half marathons, and triathlons all of the time. One even travels to Asia every other year to compete internationally. I have always dismissed their suggestions as “not for me” because I thought running/biking/swimming was boring. Things changed this summer when I decided to do Shuan T’s “Insanity” workout program. For those of you unfamiliar, it is probably the most intense home training program on the market. It makes P90X seem easy. After completing the 60 day program (in about 70 days because I couldn’t keep up), I was probably in the best shape I had been in a very long time – maybe ever. I wasn’t motivated enough to start over and do 60 more days of insanity, so I decided that I needed a new goal. Enter endurance sports.

I started to set my sights on doing triathlons. The reason being is that I just couldn’t imagine myself running over 5 miles at a time, let alone 13 or 26. Thus, I decided that mixing in three activities might be more exciting. A couple of problems: 1 – I didn’t have a bike, 2 – I didn’t have any swim equipment, 3 – the only triathlons I could find were outside of China. Apparently endurance sports are not the most popular activity in Shanghai. I have solved two of the problems by buying a very nice Specialized bike and all new swimming gear. What I couldn’t fix was the fact that there were not any triathlons in the area. So in the meantime, I focused my attention on running… which is where the interesting part of the blog begins.

My ultimate goal is to compete in a half Ironman. I was hoping to compete with my friend in Singapore in March, although I am not sure a half Ironman is a great idea for my first tri. In the meantime, I have decided to register for two events. The second is the Shanghai half marathon on December 5^th. I am still pretty nervous about running 13.1 miles at one time, but I have been training diligently and think I will be ready. The first event I ran was the Nike Shanghai 10k. This event took place in the Songjiang university district on the west side of Shanghai. Let me just say the runners were an interesting bunch.

I coaxed my Dad’s driver into picking me up at 6 AM and taking me out to Songjiang (about an hour from downtown – Shanghai is a big city). Registration was supposed to be from 6:30 to 7:30, with the event starting shortly there after. “Shortly there after” is a relative term in China. Since I arrived around 7, I was signed in and ready to go in plenty of time. Unlike events organized in the US, the starting area of the race wasn’t divided by the expected pace that the runners plan to run at. Instead, in true Chinese fashion, all the Chinese people decided that they needed to push their way as close to the start-finish line as possible. Also in Chinese tradition, the event organizers had split the groups into two classes. The common people (which I was apart of) was kept about 100 yards from the start finish line. In the “special group” the organizers had arranged for a local fitness trainer to lead people in calisthenics. What was particularly strange is that these individuals were probably the same people that had no business running 10k in the first place. There were out of shape people, people in jeans, and others wearing loafers all sweating to the pretty low impact exercises. Meanwhile, I was crammed like a sardine with the 10,000 Chinese students that were not part of the special group. After fifteen minutes of “yòu biān”-“zuǒ biān”, which means “right side-left side” we thought the event was starting. They dropped the rope and let us jog to the start/finish line. To our surprise, there was another rope at the actual line and now we had just run into the group of Jane Fonda imitators. The event coordinators were not too pleased. The stage was set up back where we had come from and they decided that 25 more minutes of speeches and introductions was necessary. Then, all of the sudden, without much notice the final rope was dropped, the clock started and we were off.

I thought this event was scheduled to be a 10k. Normally, a 10k requires a pretty consistent pace to complete the entire thing without passing out. This strategy was lost on about 70% of the Chinese students that were registered to run. It seemed like we were in a 100M sprint as people with backpacks, jeans, and dress shoes went flying by me in the first few meters. Needless to say I passed about 90% of these people within the first few kilometers as they had already begun walking or barfing on the side of the road. Certainly an interesting site watching 10-20 Chinese students losing their breakfast before the 2 km mark. I have to admit that I was a bit thrown off by the early pace. I had my training software set to tell me my pace every 1 mile. First update: 1 mile in 6 minutes 20 seconds. My response….oh shit! I was not prepared to run over 6 miles at a sub 7 pace. I was planning on about an 8 minute pace. After the first mile I knew I was going to be in trouble.

I ended up scaling down my pace to a more reasonable rate and ended up finishing my first 5km in 22 minutes and 30 seconds and finished the entire 10k in 46:14 (7:26/mile). This was about 3 minutes 30 seconds faster than my goal. I was happy about that, but my legs and body disagreed. It probably didn’t help that after the event I spent the afternoon walking around Sheshan Golf Club watching Tiger and Phil in the HSBC World Golf Championship. The race day proved a couple things to me. 1 – a half marathon is going to be a long run. 2 – I need to do much better at pacing myself. 3 – Chinese college students are terrible judges of their athletic abilities.

My training for the Shanghai half marathon has continued with me running 4 days a week. I typically put in between 5 and 10 km. The best part about training is running through the streets of Shanghai. Each run is full of excitement due to the looks I get from Chinese people wondering who is chasing me and the constant excitement of almost getting hit by cars/trucks/bikes/pedestrians/buses. On yesterday’s run I made the mistake of turning down one of the busier streets in Shanghai. Since the streets were packed with people it was going to be impossible to run on the sidewalk. Traffic was hardly moving so I decided that using the shoulder was a safe bet. Little did I realize that the shoulder was reserved for “bumper bikes.” I was about halfway down the street as an older gentleman on a bike pulled out directly in front of me. I figured that he was on bike and I was on foot he would likely be moving faster than me so I pulled up behind him. I was wrong and this guy was seriously slowing down my pace. So I juked left, split two cars and came back out in front of this guy. Apparently that must have had a negative impact on his “face”, because he was not happy that I passed him. I didn’t realize this until I felt the guys tire ramming the back of my leg. Not once, not twice, but three times in about 10 strides. As I turned over my shoulder to see what the deal was, I saw the same guy I had just passed with a slight grin on his face. Apparently giving me tire burns was hilarious to him. I tried to let it go and picked up the pace a little bit. About two blocks later he had caught back up and tried to bump me again. This time I was prepared. I side stepped his tire, which put him right next to me. An “accidental” nudge of my elbow into his handle bar sent the guy veering off into the guard rail. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him fall rather harmlessly onto the side walk and yell something at me in Chinese. I felt bad for about .5 seconds until I looked down at my left leg and saw the tire burns. I wonder how his “face” is after a “lǎowài” put him on his ass?

Expo Three Ways

World Expo is coming to a close at the end of October. As the end approaches people are scrambling to see it numbers that are truly mind blowing. During the recent holiday the peak days have topped 1 million people. The Expo site itself is huge and this whole lot will soon be torn down with the exception of a few pavilions that will be kept for tourist purposes mostly. Some countries are trying to “rehome” their pavilions to keep with the theme of 'Better City, Better Life' to encourage recycling, but many will likely end up in the trash.

I had the chance to experience Expo three ways in the past two months and each way had its positives and negatives.

Pub Crawl Expo
Jeff and I decided to join one of our friends who organized a small pub crawl through the Expo. She had previously sent out a powerpoint map which included all the bar stops along Expo, so we knew this was going to be serious. I was eager to go since I had yet to experience Expo, but was a little nervous as I was recovering from a bout of Salmonella. I decided to throw caution to the wind and on a Saturday afternoon we decided to head up a little early to hit up a great BBQ place for lunch.
1.5 hours later we were still searching for our lunch spot and 10+ volunteers had still not been able to point us in the right direction. One recommended we get on a bus and take it to the other end and maybe someone there could point us in the right direction. Mind you we had the address of this location in Chinese but no one could tell us where this elusive Expo village was located (apparently not inside Expo). We soon gave up and decided on some fast food African style before meeting up for the crawl.
Lunch was not a disappointment but after the earlier frustration we were ready for a beer. We made our way to the Belgium pavilion for some waffles and ice cream for desert and a Hoegarden to wash it down. Here we met up with our pub crawl group and about 7 of us started at a hidden cafe inside Belgium. Here's the short of it . . .
Belgium: Chimnay beer . . . tasty and a good way to start
Germany:1/2 liters of light and dark beer . . . we were smart enough to split the beer with a partner as this was only stop 2
Netherlands: unscheduled pit stop as our plans to cross the street were foiled by a parade. Cheap Heinekens were a bonus but mine was skunked. I handed it over to Jeff to finish.
Lithuania: Had to talk our way in since the bar was within the pavilion. This was pretty easy since most of us did not carry a Chinese passport, don’t look Chinese and were looking to spend money on beers. They served Svyturys which did not disappoint. Another 1/2 liter, but not smart enough to share this time.
Mexico: Dinner stop and time for some margaritas. This pavilion treated us well, hooking us up with some free guac and churros. Our group of now 11 probably helped our cause.
Cuba: I wanted a mojito and Jeff wanted a cigar, but at 9pm it was already closed. Guess I will still never make it to Cuba.
Malta: Last stop for us, drinking 1/2 liters is a little much. Cisk beer was decent. Good deal on two bottles of wine. We were suckered in and brought them home for later use.
Verdict: Fun time with good people. Avoided most of the crowds as Chinese people prefer standing in line to seeing countries the way they should be….through the bottom of an empty beer stein. Still felt functional the next day. Not a cheap way to see Expo . . . beers ranged from 20rmb-45rmb. Probably spent around 600rmb p/p . . . oh well :)

Visitor Expo
My dad was visiting in the beginning of October so we decided to head over to Expo on a Thursday morning hoping it wouldn't be too crowded. At first things were promising as we walked right into the Australia pavilion. After a strange video we left hoping for something better but most of the day ended up as a disappointment. Most Expo lines were a minimum of 1 hour wait. We went with the strategy of going only where we could walk into and ended up seeing many unimpressive pavilions. Hungary, Czech, Africa . . . I lost count. We didn't make it too long in the day as jet lag and walking around with crowds of people don't mesh well.
Verdict: Much cheaper than bar crawl but definitely not as much fun. 190rmb ticket to get in plus lunch only set us back around 250rmb. We did not have the fake passports that people run around getting stamped because they will never in fact be allowed to travel to those countries. I might have been impressed if I was 8 . . . otherwise I will just travel there myself.

The After Party Expo
Nick was in town visiting and wanted to check out Expo. I got an invite to go the USA pavilion staff party so I thought it might be a good opportunity for us to go. Nick headed up early to walk through with his mom and Pat. I skipped this part as I had enough of walking through Expo. I met up with a friend and we met Nick who was already starting his night drinking with a large beer at the Canada bar. We quickly decided we needed to do a quick mini pub crawl to start our night so we headed to the Czech pavilion to each try a light and dark beer. Next stop was Malta and we were talked into trying their 9% beer. This was in hindsight a mistake, things may have started to get fuzzy due to this stop. We next head over to the party which was originally scheduled to be outside between two pavilions, but due to weather was inside. Since we were definitely not Expo staff we left it to our friends to talk our way in and were soon enjoying 10rmb beers and the dreaded jungle juice for 35rmb. The night is a blur of music, people, drinking, dancing and dance-offs. Around 2:30am the group decides to call it quits as most of them have to work the next day since it was a Tuesday. Nick adamantly wanted to stay and disappeared back into the crowd. After warning him his taxi card probably won't lead him to the right place, I gave up and headed to McDoanlds. Nick calls over an hour later confused how to get into his parents place but thankfully made it to the right apartment complex. Downside is he is dropped off at the first building and had to spend the next 30 minutes going in and out of buildings and elevators until he stumbled his way to his parents (about 1 km away from the first).
Verdict: This night was a blast but not good for our health. I woke up with the spins after 4 hours of sleep and it was a rough ride to the airport to send my dad home. I rallied and still made it to bowling at least. Rumor has it Nick did not move the entire next day! His mom says he can't go out with me anymore :)

Chili Cookoff.... only steers and queers

Jeff and I recently got to put our BBQ judge skills to the test when we were invited to judge Bubba's annual chili cook-off. BBQ . . . chili . . . it's all meat. We showed up with our appetites at 11 am on a Saturday at the secondary location. The first location was called off due to the fact that if fell on the anniversary of Japan’s invasion of China and the Japanese consulate is around the corner from Bubba’s. Organized protests and large groups of people do not mesh well with China, so keeping 1,000 drunk people was deemed essential by the Chinese government.

Upon arrival we were given free entry to the event and lead upstairs so we could not fraternize with the teams. There were 23 chili entries so it was previously decided that the first round judges would be divided into two teams and the top six from each group would advance to a new round of final judges. Since this was a Texas chili cook-off, we relegated to the first round of judging. A pre-requisite for judging the finals is that you had to hail from Texas. I don’t think my quote from Full Metal Jacket of “only steers and queers come from Texas” helped either.

Chili was to be judged on aroma, appearance and taste on a 1-10 scale. This is an officially sanctioned event, so Texas chili rules applied. This meant that no “fillers” are allowed in Texas chili. So beans, fruit and whatever else you can think of were out. The chili had to be comprised of your choice of meat, onions, peppers and whatever seasoning preferred. Beer and crackers were provided to cleanse the palate between tastes. Now we are not connoisseurs of chili, but we can taste the difference between good chili and bad chili. One judge described about 25% of the chilies as something that “he would never order again if it was on a restaurant menu”. I would second that and say there was only about 25% of the chilies that I would order every time I went to the restaurant that served them. The other 50% were average at best. I guess you can’t complain when it is free and includes beer to wash it down.

After we had completed our responsibilities for tasting we were released to enjoy the event with the only other task of rating which teams had the best theme. The pictures here are from the second place “theme” of prison chili. The clear winner was “Heart Attack Chili”, which the team hired some local Chinese women to wear tiny nurses outfits and “inject” you with free booze. Jeff and I spent the next hour tasting all the chili's and deciding which one of us tasted it in our separate groups. It was pretty easy to distinguish the best one from my group and eventual winner of the contest. The Tabasco team made a simple tasty chili that also won the previous year. Jeff was adamant that a green chicken chili from his group might take home the prize, but he seemed to forget that this was a Texas chili competition. Texans don't want chicken in their chili and they don’t want it green. I am sure we will attend and next year and are hopefully invited back to judge. Spending a Saturday in Shanghai listening to live music, drinking and eating chili with a large group of expats is definitely a good way to feel close to home.

Japanese House Ball Tournament

First and foremost, my wife and I are very average bowlers. Her average is a respectable 120 and I am lucky to bowl around 160. Very common scores for any avid bowler back in the US. However, as is true with most things is China, being average is pretty exceptional.

About three weeks ago a friend of ours asked us if we were interested in playing in a bowling tournament. He said that a Japanese team called Medaka from the Shanghai Softball league was putting together a team for a Japanese bowling tournament. With nothing better to do on Saturday August 28^th, we agreed. Not until we agreed did we get informed of why we were invited. Apparently we were the “ringers” they were bringing in to win. Here is a brief overview of the rules of this tournament.

1. Using your own ball results in a 40 pin penalty / game
2. All ladies on the team will receive a 20 pin bonus / game
3. Two singles games and two pairs games will be played. Highest total score wins.

I can only assume that we were invited to play with this Japanese team because we fit the stereotype of a “good bowler”. First, we are American. Second, we are from the Midwest. Third, we like to drink beer. Fourth, we fit the “profile” of a bowler. You have to love stereotypes.

Not knowing what to expect, we showed up at the Hongkou bowling center at 8:45 AM on Saturday morning. A bit hung over from a night out and with Katie fighting off a nagging cold, our expectations were not that high. When we arrived we were shocked to see 31 other teams of 6-8 people crowding the lobby area. Roughly 90% of these individuals were Japanese, 9% were Chinese, and exactly one other person (other than us) was white. Since only 16 teams could bowl at a time, we ended up not playing until 9:45 AM. This proved to be a huge blessing as three of us headed over to KFC for some breakfast. We also got to size up the competition as the first set of games ended. Seeing very few scores above 150, we figured our chances were better than originally thought. Quickly we were humbled. Our first game saw us play a team of matching shirts. Now textiles are not exactly the most expensive thing in Shanghai, but when you put together a team shirt for a $25 / person tournament, you are taking it pretty seriously.

A quick loss to this team reduced our hopes of having a successful day. That is until we realized that our chances of finishing in the money actually increased by losing our first game. The way the tournament was set up is that all the winners of the first round “advanced” to the winners bracket. All of the losers were “relegated” to the losers bracket. However, the only discernable difference was that the winners bracket was sending two teams to the finals and the losers bracket was only sending one. However, all the best teams won their first games, so we got matched up with a bunch of never-will-bes. If I could read Japanese or could have figured out how the bracket worked in advance, then I probably would have suggested throwing the first game anyways. Thus, our slow start was a blessing in disguise.

After our opening loss, we played two consecutive games against pretty terrible bowlers. The second game, however, came down to the final frame. With about a 40 pin lead heading into the final frame we thought we had the game well in hand. All of the sudden, a bunch of bowlers that were struggling to break 100 were throwing balls like they were Norm Duke. First bowler goes strike-spare. The second bowler goes strike-strike-8. Our two doubles teams fail to mark. All of the sudden our lead has evaporated.

For some strange reason Japanese teams put their best two bowlers in the first and second positions and their worst bowlers in the third and fourth position. With our two singles players still to bowl, we figured to still be in a good position. I was bowling 3^rd and rolled a 9-spare-9. The pairs team bowling against me consisted of a girl that struggled to hit any pins and a guy that wasn’t picking up the garbage she was leaving him. True to form the girl started the frame with a ball that took about 30 seconds to get down the lane and flirted with both gutters before clipping the ten pin. The second bowler missed the headpin, but somehow picked up the spare as pins were falling in every direction and one miraculously clipped the two pin, which brushed the headpin just hard enough to have it wobble and fall. Spare! Luckily the girl was up again and managed a 3, which was about 2.5 points above her average / ball for the first 9 frames.

Since I was working off of a strike, we had regained a slight lead of 7 pins. With our anchor up (the 3^rd American on the team) and another of their girl/guy combos, we were feeling pretty good. We were up first and our anchor rolled a nice ball right into the pocket, but only managed an 8. A typical house ball result. With the 5-8 left, we figured to pick up the spare and be heading to the next round. A slight miss to the right on ball number two put is us deep water. Up 15 pins with the other team left to bowl. The girl, looking very nervous, kept the ball on the lane for about 10 feet before it tumbled into the gutter. This was a huge sigh of relief for our team. Up next was a guy that had failed to strike (or 0-spare) the entire game. We thought we would escape. Little did we know this guy was saving his best for last. The ball looked good out of his hand and rolled directly toward the pocket. A well deserved spare was the result. As the Japanese team celebrated, a quick calculation determined that the girl needed only 3 pins for the most unlikely comeback of the day. This fact was not lost on her either. Looking rather ill, the young lady took the ball from the rack, took a deep breath and began her approach. The ball left her hand in a similar manner as the first 9 frames: wobbly and unpredictable. It started relatively straight, but as the ball rolled forward it was clear it was heading right. The question was how far right? As the ball fell into the gutter about 5 feet in front of the pins we realized we had survived.

The next two rounds were pretty uneventful as we picked up our game considerably and cruised through the final two matches of the losers bracket. This put us up against the two undeniable favorites for the tournament. We were up against an all girls team getting 120 bonus pins and their husbands, a bunch of Chinese guys bowling in the 160s. The girl’s team had been put up the 4 highest scores in their route to the final. The guys were right on their heals, consistently putting up scores in the 600s. We were overmatched and it showed. The girls ended up beating both of us without needing the bonus 120 pins as they put up scores of 183, 178, 165, and 159. A third place finish, an 80 RMB / person prize, and 6 games of bowling was well worth the 150 RMB / person entry fee. We are definitely looking forward to the next Japanese House Ball Tournament.